I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better

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Penguin, May 1, 2000 - Psychology - 336 pages
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In their weekly radio show and in their popular workshops, Gary and Joy Lundberg have already helped thousands of people and their families to communicate more effectively. Now, the Lundbergs address an all too common dilemma that arises when others expect you to solve their problems for them, showing readers how they can shed the no-win role of "fixer" and empower people to solve their own problems through validation--a simple yet profound communication tool that is essential to any healthy relationship. Refreshingly straightforward, this inspiring and entertaining work is poised to become a classic guide for anyone who wishes to improve relationships with their partner, children, colleagues and friends.
 

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Contents

Foreword
Preface
Introduction
Part OneThe Principles
Chapter One Principle 1Be an Effective Validator
Chapter Two Principle 2Leave the Responsibility Where It Belongs
Chapter Three Principle 3Acknowledge Emotions
Chapter Four Principle 4Develop the Art of Listening
Chapter Nine How Validation Works with Adult Children
Chapter Ten How Validation Works with a Spouse
Chapter Eleven How Validation Works with Parents and ParentsinLaw
Chapter Twelve How Validation Works with Divorced and Blended Families
Chapter Thirteen How Validation Works with Friends
Chapter Fourteen How Validation Works on the Job
A SONG TO LEAN ON
Part ThreeThe Workbook

Chapter Five Principle 5Find the Right Time to Teach
Chapter Six Principle 6Learn the Effective Validating Phrases and Questions
Part TwoThe Application
Chapter Seven How Validation Works with Young Children
Chapter Eight How Validation Works with Teenagers
Notes
Keynote Addresses Seminars and Workshops
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About the author (2000)

Gary Lundberg is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Together with his wife, writer, speaker, lyricist and poet Joy Saunders Lundberg, they co-host a weekly radio show on relationships (Morning with the Lundbergs) and present seminars and workshops around the country. They are the parents of five children.
Joy Saunders Lundberg is a writer and speaker. Together with her husband Gary Lundberg she presents seminars and workshops throughout the country and cohosts a weekly radio show on relationships. The parents of five children, they live in Provo, Utah. Meet them on their Web site at www.allbetter.net.

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