I Hate to Complain, But...

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Dundurn, 1999 - Humor - 180 pages
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It is rare that one can pick up a book and find all the answers to the problems of Life. Yet in this one book, we find these answers, and learn a few more things that will keep us up at night. What really happened when Mike Harris woke up after emergency surgery in a hospital still smarting from budget cuts? Why did Linda Tripp turn on Bill Clinton? How many people knew that after the Manhattan Project, the world's leading scientists gathered at Jane Russell's house to devise the strapless bra?

This is a book for everyone: it's an exercise program for the not-too-ambitious senior, a step-by-step guide for the teenage lad on his first date, an advice column for the young spinster who, at the ripe old age of 22, is still trying to find a first-class man.

We listen in as two American broadcasters cover the Olympic Games as only Americans can.

We learn that even the big guns at the TSE were unaware of the biggest corporate takeover in history when S Claus Corp seized control of its philanthropic rival, EasterBunCo.

Yet, for all its humour, the book still brings us close to tears as the author reveals the tragedy of his thirty-year love affair with Sophia Loren.

If Shakespeare were alive today, he would read this book?

 

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Contents

Introduction
7
Some things just happen
21
used to feed on serials
35
Yup its that sex thing again
49
Jims guide to dating Fiftiesstyle
63
Pat sallies forth and tests his mettle
77
Scots annual invasion arrives
91
Behind every Superman is a
105
The history of the strapless
109
Sensible rules for highway
123
Dealing with Elvis and Annis Stukas
137
Foster seeks remedy for kidproof lids
151
Thumb screws and mortgages? Bah
165
Copyright

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About the author (1999)

Jim Foster is an award-winning humour columnist for the Orillia Packet and Times, the Collingwood Enterprise-Bulletin, and even the Oro Medonte Severn News. He was a contributing writer for the Dave Broadfoot TV specials "Old Enough to Say What I Want" and "Old Dog, New Tricks," and a gag writer for Playboy magazine. Foster is also a public speaker and has delivered his slightly warped message of hope and inspiration to audiences all over central Ontario.

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