I Only Smoke on Thursdays"I have the ability to act interested in something a guy is saying when I'm really thinking about how cute my new boots are." Meet the girl who could be you - if your perfectly planned life fell apart on Valentine's Day. Comfortably situated in her twenties, she is happy and sure of her future; until the day a waitress at some Mexican restaurant changes this smoker's life from absolute certainty to absolute insanity. In this Ab Fab meets Bridget Jones adventure, follow our heroine through three years of good dates, bad moods and friends who always want to go dancing on Thursdays. This say-anything book is full of two-week relationships, way too many cigarettes, and the birth of her split personality, Glamourina.Take a voyeuristic look into the mind of a girl who plans her life through daydreams and lip-gloss, while discovering the meaning of life at the bottom of a vodka tonic. This could be the story of your life, if yours were as funny, tragic and fabulous as hers. "Don't read this book on the bus. People will think you're a laughing lunatic!"-Richard Reid, Northwest Cable News |
Contents
Happy Valentines Day | 3 |
The Night We Almost Never Met | 17 |
Jackies Book Club | 24 |
Finding Out | 32 |
The Flight to Mars | 42 |
ReMeeting Bryan | 54 |
First Day of the Last Year | 61 |
The Next Chapter | 80 |
Confession | 137 |
A Side of Fries and a Large Depression | 156 |
No More I Love Yous | 162 |
Mitchy the Kid | 170 |
You Are My Fantasy | 179 |
Look Up In the Sky Its the Powerfully Unbearable Boy Annoy | 186 |
Blah blah blah | 193 |
Always a Bridesmaid | 203 |
Just Like the Swiss Family Robinson | 86 |
Sending a Postcard from Nowhere to No One | 93 |
Dustin Dan | 96 |
The Time and Place for Everything | 116 |
We Had a Good Time | 121 |
Male Female Email | 131 |
JJ Is Pregnant | 215 |
Cake | 223 |
Why Girls Are Stupid | 227 |
Brave New World | 232 |
About the Author | 249 |
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Common terms and phrases
apartment asked Audrey Hepburn believe Blue Eyed Devil boxed wine boyfriend Brandon cha-cha chain smoke Cher Chris Isaak cigarette Claire crazy cute dance dating dinner door dress drink Dustin everything eyes face feel felt Flight to Mars friends funny girl girlfriend glass Go-Go's going guess hair hand happen hate head hear hell huge husband idiot Jeremy Piven John kids kiss knew laugh live look married meet months morning move movie never night party Pepsi person pretty pulled Ranch dressing realize relationship Scottie shirt shit Shitbird smile smoke someone song sorry sort started stop stupid sure sushi talk tell there's thought Tina Turner Valentine's Day Vince Vaughn vodka waiting walked watch wear week women wonderful Yeah