I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts!
I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts! is a comical examination of events that are near and dear to every runner's well-conditioned heart. As the Dave Barry of running, popular running humorist Bob Schwartz pokes fun at the idiosyncratic personalities of runners and the funny situations they encounter in training, eating, racing, preparing for races, and revolving their everyday lives around running.
I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts! brings out the humor in situations that every type of runner can relate to:
- The intricate art of drinking on the run from paper cups
As any runner with tight hamstrings and a funny bone would, you'll laugh your way through these and many other amusing stories illustrated with cartoons by artist B.K. Taylor, whose drawings have appeared in many national publications, including Mad Magazine and National Lampoon.
Author Bob Schwartz is America's funniest running writer. An avid, slightly over-the-top runner himself, he has completed countless marathons (but laments that excessive glycogen depletion at the finish prevents him from fully remembering each one) as well as all race distances from the 200 Meter Kids Snowman Shuffle (where he finished second after edging out a four-year-old at the finish line) to an ultramarathon of 50 miles (a feat he has no intention of repeating). In addition to his weekly syndicated newspaper column, he has had hundreds of humorous essays published in national and regional publications, including Runner's World, FootNotes, and Fitness Runner.
For anyone who loves the aromatic smell of perspiration, who enjoys the exhilaration of exhaustion, who drinks solely from squirt bottles, or whose wardrobe is filled with reflective clothing--this book is for you.
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Rules to Run By Heh Heh Heh
Just Call Me Gumby
Im Treadmill Man Hear the Hum
Around the Learning Curve
Kenyan Water Aerobics
Racing The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Da Feet
Not So Scarlet Letters
The Idle Truth
The Missing Drink
The Marathon Would We Be Doing Any of This if Phoidippides Had Been in Just a Little Better Shape?
From the Plains of Greece We Come
Rookie Runner Hear My Words
The Answer Is Going to Be Yes
Coach Rod and tho Zone
City of Lard Hero I Come
Introduction to Ingurgitation
Send in the Clowns
The Mindset of the Distance Runner The Plentiful Peculiarities of the Perspiring Fanatic
Trick or Feet
A Streak Isnt For the Meek
Loony Ways of the Wayward Runner
The Runners Better Half
How Many Virtual Miles Do You Have?
Mind of the Lost
The Runners Multiple Skills Abilities Uncovered in the Unbearable Heaviness of Breathing
Tegla Take Two
Get Your Groove Thing
You Cant Lose Me Now
Exhilaration of Exhaustion
Nutrition and Recovery The Search for the Holy Snail and Joy of C3 Couch Chips Clicker
On My Way Back to Candyland
Its All in the Drool
Injuries What Tunes Does the Iliotibal Band Play?
The Endorphinlesg Runners Low
Name That Ailment
Run to Glory or at Least the End of the Block
Aging Gracefully If Id Known It Could Be So Much Fun Id Have Done It Sooner
Lifetime Taper for a Masterful Peak
Which Way Did It Go?
Competition and Effort Id Whoop My Grandma in Tiddlywinks
Battle in the Basement
Yo Einstein Recognize a Pattern Here?
Best Laid Plans
Motivation To Thine Own Sole Be True
A Very Calculating Man
Twin Theories of Running Resourcefulness
The Motivator in the Hat
About the Author
About the Illustrator