I Wish I Never Met You: Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly A Novel

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Simon and Schuster, Nov 1, 2007 - Fiction - 224 pages
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Preston the Project Mishap
Ernest the Undercover Sugarbooty
Marvin the Married Man-Boy
Forrest the Foul FiancÚ
What single woman hasn't been desperate enough to risk it all in an attempt to find True Love? Vulnerable enough to believe in the whole girl-meets-boy, girl-and-boy-fall-in-love, the-two-live-happily-ever-after, blah, blah, blah? News flash: It never happens that way. Eventually, a girl learns that the road to Mr. Right is littered with more than a few Mr. No Ways.
I Wish I Never Met You is the hilarious, uncensored confession of one woman, reeling from a lifetime of dating disasters -- the blind dates, the nightclub crawlers, the ballers, the liars, and the ugly but earnest suitors. As she tries to sort out what she's learned from the heartache and the embarrassments, she'll have you laughing out loud, thanking God it's not your life while recognizing that you've made all the same mistakes.
 

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Contents

Preston the Project Mishap
15
Ernest the Undercover Sugarbooty
29
Willy the Weed Smoker
44
Leroy the LoserAss Liar
57
Bubba the BogusAss Bailer
89
Unholy Matrimony
105
Marvin the Married ManBoy
122
Dennis the DumbAss Divorce
138
The Big Payback
155
Igor the Ignoramus
168
Cecil the Circus Midget
184
OUTTRO
199
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