I'm OK--You're OK
Transactional Analysis delineates three observable ego-states (Parent, Adult, and Child) as the basis for the content and quality of interpersonal communication. "Happy childhood" notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the Not ok feelings of a defenseless child, dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a "position" about ourselves and others that determines how we feel about everything we do. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is "I'm Not OK -- You're OK." This negative "life position," shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational Adult capabilities, leaving us vulnerable to inappropriate emotional reactions of our Child and uncritically learned behavior programmed into our Parent. By exploring the structure of our personalities and understanding old decisions, Harris believes we can find the freedom to change our lives.
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I have read half of the book so far, and I think I've got the gist of what the reader is trying to convey.
The book is written in a very straight forward, accessible way which makes it easy for everyone to pick it up and start reading it. Firstly, the idea of CPA is introduced carefully. we see many examples of appearance of each of them in our daily lives. The examples, discussions, arguments they all more or less make sense to me . Then he talks about how this theory can be utilized in order to interpret different social behaviours. It states what we need to avoid, what we need to be, and how those can affect our communication with others around us.
I certainly believe I can incorporate what I have learnt here in my life.
Thomas Harris does a good job explaining complicated ideas about how people interact and how we manage ourselves. His explanation of the three ego states (Parent, Adult, and Child, which I believe are modern names for Freud's Id, Ego, and Super-ego) really changed how I view myself. I plan to read it again and digest and retain more. It's a little unfortunate that he named it "I'm OK--You're OK" because many ignorant people think it's about tolerance, reject it, and have no idea how good this book is. I would have named it something like, "Harnessing Your Best Self" maybe. It's good, anyway. Read it, learn it, live it. You'll get stronger and better by doing so.
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