If I Die Before I Wake: A Memoir of Drinking and Recovery

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Conari Press, Apr 1, 2010 - Biography & Autobiography - 240 pages
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Barb Rogers’ book begins with the tragic death of her teenage son, Jon, and delves into the horror that was her life to that point. Due to a home life fraught with substance and emotional abuse, Barb found herself bottomed out more than once, and homeless along the way. “When asked in early recovery if I knew any prayers, the one I could think of was the child’s nighttime prayer, ‘Now I lay me down to sleep.’ As I thought of it, I recalled the long nights when I simply wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.” Barb learned most of her life lessons through pain, tragedy, and addiction. This is not a glamorous book, it is real and it is raw. It is not about survival of the fittest, but the weak, the hopeless, the helpless, the truly addicted, not only to substances, but to drama, anger, excuses, and justifications. She describes how she got to her lowest point, just what it was, and how and why she finally reached out to a 12-step program for help. She shows the reader what it’s really like to survive, to stay clean and sober, and find a way to the other side. Recovery was one of the most difficult things she ever did, but “worth every effort I put out.” Barb Rogers would be the first to tell you she’s not special--she’s led a hard life, and she tells her story well and with humor--readers--addicts or not, but especially addicts--are going to find the kind of gritty inspiration, that if Barb can do it so can they, that will inspire life changes.
 

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IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE

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As a hard-core alcoholic, Rogers survives serial marriages before she even reaches 30. She becomes unemployed, homeless, and destitute, but none of this compares to the devastation she experiences ... Read full review

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I enjoyed this book..... At the beginning i couldnt put the book down - but towards the middle of the book I did lose interest in the book.... I had to keep in mind that it was a memoir. But for anyone working a 12 step program or in recovery the book WILL keep your interest !!!

Contents

Acknowledgments
7
A Knock at the Door
9
Alone
13
The Letter
21
Memories
27
Holding On
37
Starting Over
43
Crazy
51
The Dream
125
Graves
133
Healing
143
Maui
153
Serendipity
167
In the Cards
173
Life
179
The Challenge
187

The Cave
61
Broke
71
The Dress
81
Do or Drink
89
Awakening
97
Signs
105
The Retreat
115
Truth or Consequences
195
My Name Is Barb
205
The Basement
215
Limbo
223
Full Circle
233
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About the author (2010)

Barb Rogers wrote several books on recovery, alcoholism, addiction, and wellbeing, including TwentyFive Words and Keep It Simple and Sane. Barb died in early 2011.

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