If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World

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Harper Collins, Oct 13, 2009 - Self-Help - 272 pages
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Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self?

If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.

 

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Contents

SUMMARY OF THE EIGHT STYLES
71
How OVERCONTROL WORKS
79
MEET YOUR INTERNAUZED PARENTS
103
THE ADULTLFE LEGACIES OF GROWING UP CONTROLLED
110
GIVING UP THE DISTORTIONS OF THE INTERNALIZED PARENTS
123
WHY PARENTS OVERCONTROL
130
CONTROLLERSFEARS
147
SOLVING THE PROBLEM
155
SHOULD I CONFRONT MY PARENTS?
180
CAN I FORGIVE MY PARENTS?
188
CAN I ACCEPT MY PARENTS?
195
SHOULD I REDUCE OR BREAK CONTAQ WITH MY PARENTS?
200
FAMILY QUANDARIES
204
REDEFINING YOUR LIFE
210
NINE POWERFUL PATHS FOR GROWTH AND HEALING
211
MAKING MEANING
231

EMOTIONALLY LEAVING HOME
157
SEPARATING FROM UNHEALTHY FAMILY TIES
159
BRINGING BALANCE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS
171
How CAN I SET HEALTHIER BOUNDARIES WITH MY PARENTS?
172
THE BOOK IN A NUTSHELL
235
WORKS CITED
243
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About the author (2009)

Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., is a licensed family therapist with a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. A popular speaker, college educator, and award-winning journalist, he specializes in helping adults cope with the challenges of unhealthy family control. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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