Instant! German

Front Cover, 2013 - Foreign Language Study - 155 pages
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Instant! German is a user-friendly phrase book full of practical, street-wise and down-to-earth phrases and words.
Instant! German uses phonetics to give the reader an easy entry point into speaking everyday German - Instantly!
It has everything you'd want in a phrase book, plus a large dose of humour.

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German Zen
So you wanna be a German rock roll star?
When taking a photo
Your bum dept
Dept of generic purchasing
Pets corner
Parrots other talking birds
Teachers corner

At the AA meeting
At the bakery
At the beach
At the dance
At the tennis
At the petrol station
At the grocers shop
At the movies
At the pub
At the races horse
At the restaurant
Food Glorias Food
Slow Food
Asthma emergency
On the set
On the road
On the ocean waves
In the snooker room
On the golf course
On the phone
Your answering machineVoicemail
Skillfully avoiding telemarketers when they call
Ill call you back
Proven ways to end phone calls
At an Indian restaurant
Know your fruits
Know your vegetables
Orgasmic organics
Around the house
Real estate mumbojumbo
The 3 Great Lies
How do you plead?
The Sign of the Cross
Grace before meals
A Papal question
Meeting your maker
The Daily Show
Respect for elders
Blessed are the peacemakers
Blessed are the pacemakers
Blessed are the breadmakers
Gone fishing
Football Zen
A Fart joke
Meet the Farts
Meet the Wankers
When being hassled by a bunch of wankers
Positively negative
Polite insults
When life has gone totally pearshaped
Death to the leaf blower
Love thy neighbour
Down to business
Letters Ive written
Which way to the?
Wheres the?
Instant Emergencies
Taxi chat
Ordering a Taxi
Honey Im
Building site banter
Happy and merry
Wine Flu Section
Visiting the doctordentistoptician
When youre in hospital
Pests Corner
Hound dogs
Religion God etc
Political Dissent and shoe throwing section
3 clean Jokes
Around the Horn
Romancepickup lines
The worlds mostunderused pick up line
Dept of periodic detention
That happy day at the altar or registry office
That unhappy day
Divorce ahoy?
Small talk
Family stuff
Polite stuff
Personal introductions
Boys names
Girls names
Greetings farewells
German National Anthem
Patriots corner
Exit strategies when surrounded by a bunch of Methheads
The weather
Up in the sky
Telling the time
What do you do for a living?
Homage to Blazing Saddles
The Donnie Brasco Section
Put em in the movies
We were only following hors doeuvres
The Oscar essentials
US Presidential essential
Firing squad essentials
Were only human
Bodily functions
Serious medical conditions
Body parts
If its brokenfix it
Are we there yet?
Days of the week
Day week month etc
Number crunching
Polite insults
Excellent sexism
Faking it
Sex Romance Love etc
At the Antique shopPawnbroker
And nowthe Fuck section
And nowthe Cunt section
The rubbish section
MaMon Cherie Amour Dept
Heartbreak Corner
How can I miss youif you wont go away?
Lets call the whole thing off
Shut your gob
Tight arses
Kids Corner
Dead bears bum
Further emergencies
Visit to the hairdresserbeautician
In townvillage
What to say in an Emergency
Seat etiquette
Join that gym
Ronnie Reagan Impersonators
Martial Arts Corner
Déjà vu section
Well meet again section
Stalemate Section
Buying Clothes
Jesus was a Capricorn and Beethoven was a Sagittarius
Instant German salutes a great film of our time
Getting out of town
Become an Instant wine wanker
The Oldest Profession
Rolling your own
Who are you?
Bitten Stung
Afflictions Do you have anything for it?
Bribery 101
To someone already swimming
How to say Can I help you?
What to say when someones staring at you
Felicitations and goodnatured phrases
At the Casino
Playing games
Hit the deck when you hear these in a bank
Too drunk todrive
HeroHeroine worship
Animal husbandry section
Life can be a picnic
Locked out
Tea break
Air travel
Thats the way the cookie crumbles
Cool phrases
Going to the market
Going to a bar
Going to a restaurant
And last but not leastSausages

Common terms and phrases

About the author (2013)

Nick Theobald is the publisher and co-author of several other phrase books with-a-difference.

Bibliographic information