J. Archibald McKackney: (collector of Whiskers) Being Certain Episodes Taken from the Diary and Notes of that Estimable Gentleman-student and Now for the First Time Set Forth

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Ralph Delahaye Paine
Outing Publishing Company, 1907 - 180 pages
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Page 5 - Without more delay I plunged down the slope, clumsily leaped the brook and crawled over the stone wall of the pasture. The stranger was advancing at a leisurely gait, and as he halted to fill and light his pipe I shivered with an apprehension inspired by the recollection of the tragic experience which I had just called to mind. My quarry was a middleaged, stocky person, whose features and garments were battered to the edge of the disreputable. Above his flaming beard emerged a sun-burnt cheek, and...
Page 22 - ... servants. One by one he removed their gags and bonds, kicked and cuffed the effects of chloroform from their addled brains and drove them trooping down ahead of him. While they bandaged the hurts of the burglars I was able to steer my tottering limbs to the telephone and summon the police from Coveport. By the time the captives had been carted away to the hospital, daylight was streaming through the library windows. It illumined with a splendid radiance the beard of Hank Wilkins, who was engaged...
Page 94 - ... snatched this hope of escape from me. He protested that he was not only anxious, but eager, to become a martyr and that the removal of six trust magnates in one operation would be such a glorious monument that it would be wicked to let the chance slip.
Page 149 - Heaven or appear in some kind of astonishin' manner, and he would be the great and exalted King and reign forever and ever, amen. I used to sit under a cocoanut tree and 148] mourn that all the brains of the family went to the inside of my head and all the red hair to the outside of my boy Hank's. That didn't help none, me being a bloomin...
Page 148 - ... an inch, and was made Captain of the Royal Body Guard. " There was only one sorrow in my year and a half at that job. An Italian barber was washed ashore from a wrecked liner, and when we found a razor in his pocket I was foolish enough to tell the King what it was for. He ordered the poor castaway to be stoned to death with green cocoanuts, for there was no reasoning with His Bloodthirsty Majesty. The barber was a heretic, a blasphemer, a menace to law and order, and several other things, and...
Page 77 - Great handfuls chopped out of 'em. Then he broke into the smoking room. Four of the priceless Middle Octaves were playing poker. Before they could get steerage way the whiskers of two of 'em was in ghastly ruins." I fell into an armchair and gasped for air. I could not find speech, and while the company stood as if rooted to the floor Wilkins concluded : " And while I was running to the scene I met old man Rust and Peter O'Dwyer staggerin' home from the village. Their whiskers had gone by the board,...
Page 121 - ... carved case, had been, shipped to me on approval. Through a blunder of the publisher a binding 120] . slightly different from the style selected by me had been sent. I had noticed the error and intended to write about it at my leisure. In the meantime, however, the publisher had discovered the mistake, and during my absence in Boston he had sent an agent to my house with the other set of books to replace those already in my possession. My secretary explained to me that the agent had taken the...
Page 6 - I'm lookin' for a game where they give away ham-andeggs for first prizes." game where they give away ham-and-eggs for first prizes." I hesitated, but the spirit of the collector was rampant and another glance at the peerless sweep of Titian whiskers compelled me to throw prudence to the winds. " Will you not do me the honor of coming hofrie to dine with me? " 1 asked. " My little 6] place is on the other side of the links. It will be a rare pleasure for me, I assure you.
Page 29 - Wilkins made a brave rally and tried to meet my astounding statement half-way as he fairly shouted : "The devil you say, sir! Then my peerless Titian beard must be a whole brass band. Do you mean to say you can play tunes on 'em?" He had blindly stumbled on the very climax of my discovery, and as I waved my arm around the room I told him : " That is what I hope to do, and before very long if you will help me. Did you ever see an...
Page 34 - I could hear no resultant sounds from the vibrations thus set in motion, and I was delighted when Wilkins smothered an amazed oath while his rugged face was a study of novel emotions. There had come to his ears a succession of musical sounds unlike anything he had ever heard. He informed me that one reminded him of a violin ; another sounded like the lingering sweetness of a twanged harpstring; while a third suggested a violoncello.

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