Jokes for Blokes: The Ultimate Book of Jokes not Suitable for Mixed Company

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Random House, Oct 6, 2011 - Humor - 576 pages

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 9 pints

What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? Justin

What's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crossword

Did you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminals

An aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?'
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!'

The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...

 

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You poos nicked my joke!

Contents

Cats
111
Chatup lines
112
Chavs
113
Clowns pocket
126
Dating
141
Doctors
154
Donkeys
177
Drugs
209

Amish
25
Animals
27
Armless
37
Art
39
Assassins
41
Autism
43
Bad luck
48
Baldness
49
Balls
50
Battle of the sexes
51
Bigamy
57
Birth control
58
Bikes and bikers
61
Birds
62
Blindness
68
Blondes
73
Bodybuilding
88
Bosses
89
Boys will be boys
90
Breasts
92
Brothels
95
Bumper stickers
98
Camels
99
Canadians
101
Cannibalism
103
Car mechanics
104
Catholics
108
Frogs and toads
262
God
268
Graffiti
278
Halloween
284
Hitchhiking
291
Hygiene
299
Incontinence
306
Italian jokes
313
Knobs
319
Lawyers
327
Lottery
341
Masturbation
355
Medical
370
Mothers
377
Names
384
Newlyweds
390
Nurses
404
Organic
415
Restaurants
462
Russian jokes
469
Scots
477
Sex anal
485
Sex outdoors
496
Shipwrecked
502
Travel
530
Vibrators
545
Copyright

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About the author (2011)

Llewellyn Dowd and Phil McCracken met whilst serving in the French Foreign Legion. They were both dishonourably discharged on the same day, following an incident with the regimental camel. Llewellyn returned to live in the UK, where Who's Who lists his interests as: 'Camels; camel racing; painting pictures of camels'. He is married to wife Camilla. Phil currently lives in south-eastern Europe, where he presents a TV programme on farming: The Bulgarian Agrarian. He lives with his Moroccan partner, Keith.

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