"Hello, my name's Ricky and I honestly thought I knew what I was doing. I thought life went from A to Z. And as it may, it turns out other things do to.
Once upon a day I was an average young man with an average life. That is, until my friend Bobby found a lamp that he claimed to be a time machine. Time machine . . . if only. We didn't have the slightest idea what we were dealing with, nor could we have possibly known what was to come.
The lamp sent us on an adventure of many adventures, and in turn we've become altered in ways we'll never be able to undo. It's too late for us, that's obvious. You, on the other hand, are the beneficiary.
So, with all the formalities out of the way, I'll just say this: If you think your life can be a bitch . . . try and take my shoes for a stroll."