Leaving Home: Migration Yesterday and Today
Why, after a childhood of emotional neglect and abuse, would a man move next door to the very parents who caused him pain? And how can a woman emerge from her mother's control in order to form healthy adult relationships?
Giving up family attachments that failed to meet our needs as children, David Celani argues, is the hardest psychological task an adult can undertake. Yet the reality is that many adults re-create the most painful aspects of their early relationships with their parents in new relationships with peers and romantic partners, frustrating themselves and discouraging them from leaving their family of origin. Leaving Home emphasizes the life-saving benefits of separating from destructive parents and offers a viable program for personal emancipation.
Celani's program is based on Object-Relations Theory, a branch of psychoanalysis developed by Scottish analyst Ronald Fairbairn. The human personality, Fairbairn argued, is not the result of inherited (and thus immutable) instincts. Rather, the developing child builds internal relational templates that guide his future interactions with others based on the conscious and unconscious memories he internalized from his primary relationship—the one he experienced with his parents. While a child's attachment to parents who were neglectful or even abusive is not uncommon, there is a way out. Articulate, sensitive, and replete with examples from Celani's twenty-six years of clinical practice, this book outlines the practical steps to leaving home.
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LibraryThing ReviewUser Review - EnidaV - LibraryThing
Has some helpful things in it, eg exploring why abused and/or neglected children grown up into adults who cling to the same parents who mistreated them...but Celani's attitude is extremely off-putting ... Read full review
Leaving home: the art of separating from your difficult familyUser Review - Not Available - Book Verdict
In this slim text, clinical psychologist Celani (The Illusion of Love: Why the Battered Woman Returns to Her Abuser ) aims to help individuals who seemingly sabotage adult relationships by re-creating ... Read full review