Letters to my Mother: a survivor's story

Front Cover
Author House, Oct 27, 2009 - Biography & Autobiography - 392 pages

I knew I liked to write when I was a teenager, locking myself in my room. I was angry, frustrated and needed a positive outlet.  I was tired of breaking things. I was sad having to pick up pieces of my little treasures.  So I picked up a pencil  to write about how I felt and why I was being self-destructive.  I was determined to find a way to diffuse the confusion in my head. Taught very early to pray, I'd put my prayers on paper.  Seeing something written brought me back into reality. I had a reference point.  Something I could read over and over to remind myself who I was and that I would be okay.

This is my story of survival.  My journey from the traumatic experience of being molested countless times by my step-father while living within the strict religious practices of Jehovah's Witnesses to my healing process with Parents United.  I thought my life of confusion, mistrust and low self-esteem could never change.  As I got older, I attracted more dysfunction in my choices.  I didn't know I could change that.  I didn’t know any better.  I became afraid for my children.  I thought I was crazy and didn't have good parenting skills.  After years of therapy, I learned to have control over my life and how to take the power back that I kept giving away.  I am no longer a victim.  It has been a long and twisty road.  Today, I am proud to be happy, healthy and productive in my world.  I am proud to be a survivor!  I hope to inspire others and give them hope that the craziness in their heads can go away.  I want to keep talking about this until the cycle is broken and all children are safe.
 

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Contents

IN THE BEGINNING CHAPTER 1
1
EARLY MEMORIES CHAPTER 2
10
THE FIRST TIME I REMEMBER CHAPTER 3
18
SOUTH DAKOTA CHAPTER 4
24
BACK TO CALIFORNIA CHAPTER 5
30
SAN JOSE CHAPTER 6
38
FREEDOM CHAPTER 7
56
LIFE WITH JIM CHAPTER 8
63
JOSEPH CHAPTER 12
187
GLORIA VANESSA CHAPTER 13
202
DARYL CHAPTER 14
265
RAQUEL LANE CHAPTER 15
310
PARENTS UNITED CHAPTER 16
314
VANESSA AND DJ CHAPTER 17
353
HEALTH AND HEALING CHAPTER 18
360
DIVORCE AND SPIRITUALITY CHAPTER 19
367

PATRICIA CHAPTER 9
80
FLORIDA CHAPTER 10
104
SUE SHELLY TERRI LYNN GLORIA CHAPTER 11
150
A NEW JOURNEY CHAPTER 20
373
Back Cover
381
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