Life Sentence: The Guy's Survival Guide to Getting Engaged and Married

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Grand Central Publishing, Sep 26, 2009 - Humor - 160 pages
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THE FIRST THING THEY PRONOUNCE YOU IN LIFE IS "HUSBAND AND WIFE". THE NEXT THING IS "DEAD".

Up till now, preparing for marriage was a lot like preparing for death: You didn't know what was ahead and there was nothing you could do about it anyway! LIFE SENTENCE changes all that with honest, guy-to-guy advice and counsel. Think of it this way: It's like getting your grubby hands on the other team's playbook before the big game. Which is why it's the one book they -- girlfriends, fiancees, and divorce lawyers -- don't want you to read. You'll gain valuable insights into:

BEING ENGAGED: It's the romantic equivalent of being in cyberspace. The ring is like signing a lease with an option to buy.

FIDELITY: If you think that fidelity is a raw deal, remember that she made the same deal. With you. You're the last guy she gets.

GOLF: Never, ever play with her.
 

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Contents

PREPARING FOR THE INEVITABLE
COMPATIBILITY
LIVING TOGETHER
BUYING THE RING
POPPING THE QUESTION
THE BACHELOR PARTY
YOUR WILD OATS
THE BRIDAL SHOWER
THINGS THAT YOU USED TO DO
FOREVERNESS
THE DEAL
STUFF
SEX
BLOW JOBS
GETTING PREGNANT
EXPECTING

PLANNING THE WEDDING
THE MAIN EVENT
THE WEDDING NIGHT
THE HONEYMOON
REALITY SETS IN
MEET YOUR WIFE
FIGHTING WITH YOUR WIFE
FIDELITY
YOUR INLAWS
YOUR FRIENDS
CIGARS
RELAXING
AROUND THE HOUSE
CHILDREN
HER PLUMBING
BECOMING YOUR PARENTS
KEEPING SCORE
CHEATING
DIVORCE
SINGLE AGAIN
YOUR SECOND WIFE
AGING
DEATH
AFTERLIFE
WHY ME?
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