Mistakes Were Made (but Not By Me) Third Edition: Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Front Cover
HarperCollins, Apr 28, 2020 - Psychology - 304 pages

A NEW EDITION UPDATED IN 2020  Why is it so hard to say "I made a mistake"  and really believe it?

When we make mistakes, cling to outdated attitudes, or mistreat other people, we must calm the powerful cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so, unconsciously, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right—a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by decades of research, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-justification—how it works, the damage it can cause, and how we can overcome it. Extensively updated, this third edition has many recent and revealing examples, including the application of dissonance theory to divisive social issues such as the Black Lives Matter movement and he said/she said claims. It also features a new chapter that illuminates how our political psychology is playing a role in the currently polarized political scene, changing the nation’s values and putting democracy itself at risk. 

“Every page sparkles with sharp insight and keen observation. Mistakes were made—but not in this book!” —Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness

“A revelatory study of how lovers, lawyers, doctors, politicians—and all of us—pull the wool over our own eyes . . . Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we’re honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer.” —Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine

This landmark work of social psychology reveals the hidden mental machinery that shapes our lives, exploring:

  • The Engine of Self-Justification: Understand cognitive dissonance, the powerful mental discomfort that leads us to justify our mistakes rather than admit them.
  • The Confirmation Bias: Learn why our brains are wired to reject facts that contradict our beliefs and how this universal human behavior shapes our decisions.
  • Real-World Consequences: Explore fascinating case studies—from the law and politics to our personal relationships—that show how self-justification can lead good people to do dumb, immoral, and wrong things.
  • A Path to Self-Awareness: Discover how to overcome the pull of self-justification, see our errors more clearly, and develop the ability to say, “I was wrong.”
 

Contents

The Engine of SelfJustification
13
2 Pride and Prejudice and Other Blind Spots
52
3 Memory the SelfJustifying Historian
88
The Closed Loop of Clinical Judgment
122
5 Law and Disorder
164
SelfJustification in Marriage
206
7 Wounds Rifts and Wars
239
8 Letting Go and Owning Up
276
Back Matter
313
Back Cover
379
Spine
380
Copyright

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About the author (2020)

CAROL TAVRIS is a social psychologist, lecturer, and writer whose books include Anger and The Mismeasure of Woman. She has written on psychological topics for the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, Scientific American, and many other publications. She is a fellow of the American Psychological Association and the Association for Psychological Science, and a member of the editorial board of Psychological Science in the Public Interest. She lives in Los Angeles.

ELLIOT ARONSON is one of the most distinguished social psychologists in the world. His books include The Social Animal and The Jigsaw Classroom. Chosen by his peers as one of the hundred most influential psychologists of the twentieth century, he was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and is the only psychologist to have won all three of the American Psychological Association’s top awards—for writing, teaching, and research. He lives in Santa Cruz, California.