Naked Intimacy: How to Increase True Openness in Your Relationship

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McGraw Hill Professional, Sep 22, 2002 - Self-Help - 256 pages

One of America's foremost couples therapists offers expert advice on rekindling relationships through "naked intimacy"

Naked Intimacy is for everyone who yearns for an intimate relationship and wonders why it seems so elusive. It is for couples who are experiencing emptiness and loneliness in their relationships and dream of rediscovering the deep intimacy that existed in the early days of the relationships.

Joel D. Block, one of the founders of the modern self-help movement, entices the reader to take his or her clothes off emotionally with a love partnera daring and courageous act, to be sure, but one that ultimately brings new vitality and eroticism to a relationship. Based on interviews with more than 200 people whose experiences speak directly to readers, concerns about love, happiness, fulfillment, and sexuality, Naked Intimacy is an important work that challenges love partners to do what it takes to achieve even greater levels of intimacy in a relationship.

 

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Contents

THE MANY FACES OF DECEPTION
1
THE OPENNESS SCALE
23
OUR FAMILY LEGACY
37
GETTING PERSONAL
57
CHALLENGING YOU VULNERABILITY
79
SECRETS
99
WHEN WORDS FALL
119
FIGHTING FOR INTIMACY
137
THE EMOTIONAL CONFERENCE
155
BEYOND WORDS
173
AFTERWORD
193
BIBLIOGRAPHY
197
INDEX
199
Copyright

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Page 73 - We have found this effective in small groups in which contradictory or antagonistic attitudes exist. When the parties to a dispute realize that they are being understood, that someone sees how the situation seems to them, the statements grow less exaggerated and less defensive, and it is no longer necessary to maintain the attitude, "I am 100% right and you are 100% wrong.
Page 165 - If I were to reduce all my feelings and their painful conflicts to a single name, I can think of no other word but: dread. It was dread, dread and uncertainty, that I felt in all those hours of shattered childhood felicity: dread of punishment, dread of my own conscience, dread of stirrings in my soul which I considered forbidden and criminal.
Page 92 - ... He is one unified person all the way through, whether we tap his experience at the visceral level, the level of his awareness, or the level of communication. Probably one of the reasons why most people respond to infants is that they are so completely genuine, integrated or congruent. If an infant expresses affection or anger or contentment or fear there is no doubt in our minds that he is this experience, all the way through. He is transparently fearful or loving or hungry or whatever. For an...
Page xix - For one human being to love another, that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
Page 14 - The less information he gives her, the more persistently will she seek it; and the more she seeks it, the less he will give her. It is not long before the drama evolves to a point that Dr.
Page 64 - He walked in, we took one look at each other, and sparks flew. There was something we both felt that was like nothing I had known in two years as a divorcee. We went to dinner but never noticed the food. We couldn't talk enough, we got misty-eyed again and again, and choked up. We went to his hotel room and talked and necked almost all night. I don't go to bed with anyone all that fast, but I would have gone with him without any hesitation if he'd asked me. He told me we would be married, and I wasn't...
Page 86 - When my husband left I had this panicky feeling which was out of proportion to what was really happening. I was afraid I was being abandoned. I couldn't shake the feeling. I remembered later that the first time I had that feeling was when I had pneumonia and my mother left me in the hospital, in a private room, in the winter. And this picture came back of this...
Page 14 - For instance, a wife may have the impression that her husband is not open enough for her to know where she stands with him, what is going on in his head, what he is doing when he is away from home, etc. Quite naturally, she will therefore attempt to get the needed information by asking him questions, watching his behavior, and checking on him in a variety of other ways. If he considers her behavior...
Page 86 - When we think of loss we think of the loss, through death, of people we love. But loss is a far more encompassing theme in our life. For we lose not only through death, but also by leaving and being left, by changing and letting go and moving on.
Page 45 - ... SHE (getting louder): You don't say! Who's picking whose dirty underwear off the floor every morning? HE (sarcastic but controlled): I happen to go to work. What have you got to do all day? SHE (shouting): I'm trying to get along on the money you don't make, that's what. HE (turning away from her): Why should I knock myself out for an ungrateful bitch like you? The Millers got very little out of this encounter except a thoroughly spoiled evening.

About the author (2002)

Joel D. Block, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, a diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology, and an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. He is the author of 11 popular self-help books and numerous articles appearing in Parents, Modern Maturity, and other leading national publications.

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