Necessary losses: the loves, illusions, dependencies and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow

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Ballantine Book, 1986 - Family & Relationships - 499 pages
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"This perceptive book should absorb and enrich anyone who admits to being human."
Benjamin Spock, M.D.
Essayist Judith Viorst, who has humorously eased our journey to middle age, now turns her considerable talents to a more serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are an inevitable and necessary part of life. Arguing persuasively that through the loss of our mothers' protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper persepctive, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life, Judith Viorst has wirtten a life-affirming and life-changing book.

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Necessary losses

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Viorst, poet and Redbook contributor, is also a research graduate of the Washington Psychoanalytic Institute, and has worked in psychiatric settings. Her topic is loss because everyone must cope with ... Read full review

Contents

Introduction
1
The Separate Self
7
The Ultimate Connection
24
Standing Alone
35
The Private I
45
Lessons in Love
63
77ie Forbidden and the Impossible
81
Passionate Triangles
103
Good as Guilt
139
Childhoods End
153
Imperfect Connections
173
Crossroads and CrossGenerational Friends
186
Love and Hate in the Married State
204
Saving the Children
227
Family Feelings
248
Loving Losing Leaving Letting
263

Anatomy and Destiny
121
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About the author (1986)

Judith Viorst was born in Newark, New Jersey on February 2, 1931. She graduated from Rutgers University (1952) and the Washington Psychoanalytic Institute (1981). She has written extensively, her works include children's books, collections of poetry, lyrics to musicals, several works of fiction, and a cookbook. She has won a Silver Pencil award (for The Tenth Good Thing About Barney) and an Emmy (for poems used in an Anne Bancroft TV special).

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