Never Tell Them You're Dying
Have you ever asked yourself how you would want to die? Would you prefer to go in a blaze of glory, saving thousands of people in the process, having your name go down in history, but without an opportunity to tell your loved ones goodbye? Or would you prefer to have a long protracted death where you have every opportunity to tell folks how you feel? My preference is the first scenario. I have always wanted to go up in flames with half of the world thinking, Man, that S.O.B. was something else. He saved all of those people with little regard for the consequences of his actions. That guy is really a hero. I would choose the quick path. My family knows how I feel about them and they know I love them. They dont need goodbyes. Besides, lying around in pain and losing control of my bodily functions for months prior to my death is not my idea of a good way to go. Unfortunately, we dont always have a choice in these matters of life and death. My life changed dramatically three years ago when I went to the doctor for a routine visit and received a diagnosis that I never thought I would hear. I had a terminal illness and I was going to die from it. No treatments. No cure. Just death. Along with this little bit of good news also came the realization that this was not something that was going to happen overnight. Estimates of the day of reckoning ranged anywhere from eighteen months to five years, give or take a day or two. My disease also becomes more debilitating as it goes along. I will lose control of my bodily functions and I will embarrass myself and my family. But I do have a chance to tell them goodbye. And I have a chance to sit down and write a book that chronicles the trials and tribulations of my successful completion of the first fifteen months of life after my diagnosis. This little terminal lung problem was the impetus behind Never Tell Them Youre Dying, a book written by Barry and Kerry Morgan. A book that examines many of the problems one faces with a terminal illness. A book that was written as a legacy for our children. And hopefully a book that might help you if you are ever faced with a problem like mine. Here is a bit of history about me that might clear a few things up in advance. I have always had a sick sense of humor and I am a bit of a cynic, actually a royal smart ass. I also have been in sales a long, long time, which has honed my observation skills to another level. This cryptic visual acuity allowed me to look at life with a terminal illness from a whole different angle. The first part of the book examines life and the reality of terminal illness. We terminally ill types go through several emotional stages when we are diagnosed. Our loved ones go through various emotional stages as well. Our friends go through emotional stages and people we dont like or even know also go through emotional stages. It seems the whole world goes through these emotional stages when they find out about the terminal illness. Unfortunately, we are all in different stages at different times and that really can make life difficult on everyone. Since we all react differently, there is no set of ground rules that apply. Thats the beauty of this book. You will get to see what I went through. You will get to see what my wife, Kerry, went through. You will get to see what my children went through. You get to see what my parents, my brothers, my best friend, my coworkers, well, you get the point. No stone is left unturned and the raw, stark reality of the situation is laid bare on the pages of this book for you to see, and experience. Not only do we look at the various emotional stages all of us experience at a time like this, we also look at the insanity called the medical system that we blindly place our faith in. Ill show you what I had to deal with when it came to my wonderful insurance company. You will get to see just how the benefits (or lack of benefits) at your job apply in situations like this. Ill tell you all about FMLA, COBRA, STD, LTD, 401K, and SSDI and Ill do it in a manner that you can understand. You wont get any HR speak here, just facts on how all of this stuff works and doesnt work. Ill give you tips on trips. Ill even give you advice on the best places in the United States to retire and how to choose them. You will be enlightened on the benefits of having a dog. I will tell you why soft serve ice cream is good for the soul. You may even learn the secret to a long and happy marriage. I promise you a love story as well. You will see this for what it really is. This is a story about one mans love for his wife, his daughters, his family and friends, and his life. You will see how much I love everything about this crazy life we lead. It is all good and that is the message Kerry and I are trying to get across. Life truly is amazing. Dont focus on the dying. Just keep on living moment by moment, because in the end, that is all any of us will ever have just that moment. You will thank me someday. You probably dont want to hear this, but you too are going to die. As a matter of fact, there are approximately 3.4 billion people on the face of this planet and each and every one of them was terminal at birth. The only difference between them and me I have a little better idea of when I am going to end my journey. While none of us has a choice in how all of this pans out, I do know one thing. Very few of us are ever going to end up going out in a blaze of glory. Most of us are going to go the way of the dinosaur slowly and without much fanfare. That isnt a bad thing. The world only has room for a few heroes. And that brings us back to the title of the book. Since all of us were terminal at birth, a definitive diagnosis shouldnt make any difference. It isnt how you die that is important. It is how you live your life that counts.
What people are saying - Write a review
Wow, this is a terrific book. I laughed and I cried as I read it. Someone who has been down this road can truly identify with the difficulties experienced. I think it is called life. Because of my husbands diagnosis, it was so relavent. Barry's sense of humor was great. It helped me so much to read of his journey through pulmonary fibrosis. I would love to sit with a cup of coffee and talk about their experiences. I'm only sorry that I can't buy the book for my library.