Nonsense, Or Hits and Criticisms of the Follies of the Day

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Carleton, 1871
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Page 227 - In every village marked with little spire, Embowered in trees, and hardly known to fame, There dwells, in lowly shed, and mean attire, A matron old, whom we schoolmistress name ; Who boasts unruly brats with birch to tame : They grieven sore, in piteous durance pent, Awed by the power of this relentless dame ; And ofttimes on vagaries idly bent, For unkempt hair, or task unconned, are...
Page 39 - PSALM 131. heart not haughty is, O Lord, mine eyes not lofty be ; Nor do I deal in matters great, or things too high for me. 2 I surely have myself behav'd with quiet sp'rit and mild, As child of mother wean'd : my soul is like a weaned child. 3 Upon the Lord let all the hope of Israel rely, Ev'n from the time that present is unto eternity.
Page 275 - THE END. NEW BOOKS And New Editions Recently Issued by CARLETON, PUBLISHER, (Late EUDD & CAKLETOJST,) 413 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. NB— THE PUBLISHER, upon receipt of the price in advance, will send any of the following Books, by mail, POSTAGE FREE, to any part of the United States. This convenient and very safe mode may be adopted when the neighboring Booksellers are not supplied with the desired work.
Page 102 - Pete, and the result is much gorgeousness of apparel — many good things heretofore known to ine only by observation. I would not be a poor man — I would not if I could — • But I need not fret about it, For I could not if I would, while the earth divulges its hidden secrets into my lap at the rate of three hundred barrels. Its oil right, now. Once I was merely a bore. Now I am a successful borer, and my troublea have been drowned in oil by the genius of success — Peter Oleum.
Page 275 - Society. THE HABITS OF GOOD SOCIETY ; with thoughts, hints, and anecdotes, concerning nice points of taste, good manners, and the art of making oneself agreeable. The most entertaining work of the kind ever published.
Page 275 - With illustration. I2mo. cloth, $1.75 THE PROFESSOR. — do. . do. . do. $1-75 SHIRLEY. — .do. . do.. . do. $i.7S VILLETTE. — . do. . do. . do. $i75 Hand-Books of Society* THE HABITS OF GOOD SOCIETY; with thoughts, hints, and anecdotes, concerning nice points of taste, good manners, and the art of making oneself agreeable.
Page 19 - You are nearly heart to heart. Look down into her halfclosed eyes. Gently, yet manfully, press her to your bosom. Stand firm. Be brave, but don't be in a hurry. Her lips are almost open. Lean slightly forward with your head, not the body. Take good aim; the lips meet, the eyes close; the heart opens; the soul rides the storms, troubles, and sorrows of life (don't be in a hurry); heaven opens before you; the world shoots under your feet, as a meteor flashes across the evening sky (don't be afraid);...
Page 18 - Don't l>e in a hurry ! Draw her gently, lovingly, to your heart. Her head will fall lightly upon your shoulder — and a handsome shoulder-strap it makes ! Don't be in a hurry ! Send a little life down your left arm, and let it know its business.
Page 20 - ... close — the heart opens — the soul rides the storms, troubles, and sorrows of life (don't be in a hurry) — heaven opens before you — the world shoots from under your feet aa a meteor flashes athwart the evening sky (don't be afraid) — the nerves dance before the justerected altar of love as zephyrs dance with the dew-trimmed flowers — the heart forgets its bitterness, and the art of kissing is learned ! No noise — no fuss — no fluttering and squirming, like hook-impaled worm.
Page 274 - ... Every man of sense is sea-sick. So was I. I was disgusted, and I thought of the person who attempted a sea voyage on the sea of Galilee, was sea-sick, disgusted, and got out and walked!" Deacon Brown looked at his wife, but neither of them smiled. It was the mustard! In person Mr. Dickens resembles his pictures quite much, but the resemblance is not so striking as it was. Mr. Dickens brought a few intimate friends with him to this country, the society here being so poor, and it is now his intention...

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