Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships

Front Cover
Rowman & Littlefield, Feb 12, 2019 - Family & Relationships - 224 pages
If there is one thing we know about men and sex it is that men are always in the mood. Any time, any place. Right?


Men’s sexual desire has long been depicted as high, simple, and unwavering. But the new research around men’s desire tells us this is far from true; and that good sex and relationships are suffering from these long-held misconceptions. In Not Always in the Mood: The New Science on Men, Sex, and Relationships sex researcher and relationship therapist Sarah Hunter Murray presents a lively, timely, and critical exploration of the newest, most surprising science on men and sex, shattering myths about men’s sexuality and helping today’s couples connect more deeply and authentically than ever before.

One-by-one, Murray examines the most detrimental, deep-held beliefs we as a society promote around men and their desire, and dive into how they affect our intimate relationships daily – and what to do about it. Do men actually crave and enjoy sex more than women? Do men “do the wanting” and prefer the chase? Where do they stand on sexual rejection? What’s the deal with porn? Answering these questions and more, this is a book for modern women and men alike. Moving beyond typical “here’s what he likes” sexual tips, the book empowers readers and offers a completely new perspective on sexuality that will validate men’s experiences and help their partners to a greater understanding of the psychology and emotions surrounding them.

Other editions - View all

About the author (2019)

Sarah Hunter Murray, PhD, is a leading researcher on sexual desire. For over a decade, she has dedicated her career to examining the nuances of sexuality as they affect modern relationships. Murray is best known for her groundbreaking work challenging traditional assumptions about men’s desire. Murray is a regularly sought-after sex and relationship expert for media outlets including Men’s Health, Fashion Magazine,Elle and Today’s Parent. Her research has been featured in LiveScience,, Jezebel, and The Globe and Mail. She authors the blog “Myths of Desire: Rethinking Sex Roles and Expectations that Stifle Relationships” for Psychology Today. Her work has also been featured in several journals including the Journal of Sex Research, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, and Sex Roles. As a practicing relationship therapist under the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), she specializes in working with individuals and couples around sexual intimacy concerns. Sarah lives in Winnipeg, Canada, with her husband and two children.

Bibliographic information