Over the Hill Without A Paddle: And Other Signs of Confusion in a New Millennium

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iUniverse, Aug 2, 2000 - Fiction - 184 pages
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In this wonderful collection of short, funny pieces, Richard Cutler covers the gamut from nostalgia to conjecture on such topics as clowns, cholesterol and calling in sick to the supervisory voice mail. Along the way he sharpens his wit on exercise, politicians, road rage, souvenir shopping while traveling light and women's attraction to hand-held power tools. He reports on place and people names, profanity-free TV, holiday traditions, guy things and old fashioned etiquette. And he offers his experiences with gene pool backup, old wives' tales, women's fashions (and the storage thereof), following RV's and flying steerage class. The careful reader will discover such incidental insights as his theory of why Eskimos gave up kissing for rubbing noses and what the young Marquis de Sade's nanny said that may have suggested all those weird ideas. But the casual reader will learn something too. And not just that the author has entirely too much time on his hands. Interspersed among these views of the passing scene are subtle indications that--paddles or not--we may all of us be headed up the creek. So to speak.
 

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Contents

What Can It Hurt?
1
Something to Remember You By
3
The Ladys Not a Tramp
7
What the Hell Is That?
11
Its Not Too Late to Play to Those LateNight Seniors
15
Uncertain Terms
19
Number Please
23
Through the Looking Glass
25
No Doubt About It
79
Old Wives Tales
83
Love at Second Sight
87
But Not for Me
91
Water Water Everywhere
95
Fashion Statements
97
Law Odor
101
Huddled Masses
105

Oh for a Dignified Workout and a Little Piece of Plain White Bread
29
Traveling Light
31
To a First Grandchild on the Birth of a Second
35
Made for Each Other
39
Guy Things
41
Sick Call
45
Now You See Me Now You Dont
49
BobbySoxers and All That Jazz
51
The Gene Pool
55
But First a Word From Our Sponsor
59
Going Out to Pasture
61
Laughing on the Outside
63
One More Camper to Pass
65
Identity Crisis
67
Tis the Season
69
Push Comes to Shove
73
Love Bites
75
Get Thee Behind Me
77
No Sweat
109
Night of the Living Bed
113
The Christmas Pageant
117
Carp
121
Tool Time
125
The Third Dimension
127
A Loss for Words
129
Good Behavior
133
Getting There
137
Lost and Found
141
Writers Cramp or The Creative Urge
145
Looking Out for Number One
149
Curses
151
The Gift
155
Under the Shedding Christmas Tree
159
Be It Resolved
163
About the Author
165
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