PHILOSOPHICALLY PHUNNY

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Author House, Jun 1, 2012 - Humor - 104 pages
1 Review
What people have said about the contents of this book: “Hilarious!” “OMG, you are SOO funny!” “LMAO!” “That is so freaking hilarious!” “I peed my pants!” “LOL!” “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!” “My sides hurt from laughing so much!” “I wanna have your baby!” “You are SOOO CRAZY!” “Where do you come up with this?” “You should write a book!” “You should do stand-up comedy!” “You should quit while you’re ahead.” “What the hell’s wrong with you?” “Don’t you have a job?” “WTH?! Seriously dude. That was supposed to be our secret.” “Keep the jokes coming! This brightens my day!” “Hahahahaha!” “Man...I thought we were friends.”
 

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Contents

A Hole in My Sole
1
Awkward Moments
5
Axe Scents and Linguine Sticks
11
Closet Geek
17
Courtroom Comedy
19
Great Ideas
25
Growing Up
29
Growing Up
31
Pickup Lines
51
Raising Kids
55
Surprise Endings
61
Thoughts as Deep as Puddles
63
Time to Listen
67
Velcro Wallets and Pants Stickers
71
Whites of Thine Eyes
73
Yamaha and Pioneer are Stereo Types
81

Guide to Healthy Living
37
Last Man on Earth
39
Little Known Facts
45
Metal Genitals
49
Special Thanks
87
About the Author
91
Copyright

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About the author (2012)

A father of five and a husband to a very patient and understanding wife, the author finally found a home for those ridiculous thoughts and ideas that plague his mind daily. Before blogging, posting and social-networking was available, his nonsense would find its way into the once popular slam books, yearbooks, birthday cards, get-well cards, your cast, jeans, t-shirts and anything else you would allow him to push a pen against. Most recently, jokes that were once digitized on friends' facebook walls have transitioned to ink and paper and are now available to the rest of the world. Having been a fan of comedy since the age of seven, his inspirations include stand-up comedians such as Brian Regan, Dave Chappelle, Mitch Hedberg and a long list of hilarious performers that began their career at The Laugh Factory. He holds two degrees in engineering but will usually find himself cluttering his mind with the comical aspects of life, people and the lighter side of just about anything. A firm believer that science cures ailments, faith cures hopelessness, and laughter cures everything else, it is rare to find him take anything seriously. Realizing that it's easier to practice self-control than be an incessant clown throughout the entire day, it is also just as rare to find him cracking jokes in public. Instead, he has resorted to writing his ideas as blogs and status updates rather than allowing the thoughts to accumulate in his head to the point that is maddening. In this book, you can share in his moments as a blundering child, an awkward teen, and as an exasperating husband and father. It is a wonder he remains married and still has friends. Maybe it's because laughter, the cure to everything else, also brings everybody closer together.

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