Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

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Routledge, 2012 - Psychology - 194 pages
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We live in a time of great uncertainty about relationships. We search for "The One," but find ourselves staying single because nobody measures up. The reality of our relationships is not what we expected, and it becomes hard to balance it with all the other things that we want out of life. At the same time that marriage shows itself to be the one 'recession proof' industry; the rates of separation and break-up soar ever higher.

Rewriting the Rules is a friendly guide through the complicated - and often contradictory - rules of love: the advice that is given about attraction and sex, monogamy and conflict, gender and commitment. It asks questions such as: which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own?

This book considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways, for example the 'new monogamy', alternative commitment ceremonies, different ways of understanding gender, and new ideas for managing conflict and break-up where economics and child-care make complete separation a problem. In this way Rewriting the Rules gives the power to the reader to find the approach which fits their situation.

 

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Contents

Introduction
1
Rewriting the rules of yourself
10
Rewriting the rules of attraction
24
Rewriting the rules of love
39
Rewriting the rules of sex
55
Rewriting the rules of gender
74
Rewriting the rules of monogamy
94
Rewriting the rules of conflict
112
Rewriting the rules of breakup
130
Rewriting the rules of commitment
147
Rewriting your rules
168
Notes
179
Index
189
Copyright

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About the author (2012)

Meg Barker is a senior lecturer in psychology at the Open University and a therapist specialising in sexual and relationship therapy. Meg has previously published books on sexuality and counselling and is co-editor of the journal Psychology & Sexuality. You can read Meg's blog to accompany this book at www.rewritingthe-rules.com.

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