Rules for Aging: Resist Normal Impulses, Live Longer, Attain Perfection

Roger Rosenblatt

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2000 - 148 pages

58 gems of funny, brilliant, wise, and indispensable advice from the prize-winning essayist.

Contents

• It doesnt matter: 1
• Nobody is thinking about you: 3
• Let bad enough alone: 5
• Ignore your enemy or kill him: 11
• Boo yourself off the stage: 15
• Yes you did: 17
• After the age of 30 it is unseemly to blame ones parents for ones life: 19
• If something is boring you it is probably you: 21
• Stay clear of anyoneother than a clergymanwho refers to God more than once in an hour: 23
• Swine rules: 25
• Listen for the word Great: 29
• Listen for the question What are you talking about?: 31
• Appearance is frequently reality: 33
• Be not witty neither shalt thou be clever: 35
• Pursue virtue but dont sweat it: 41
• Do not go to your left: 45
• Everyones work is magnificent: 49
• Consult everyone on everything and dont forget to send ingratiating notes: 51
• Strife is better than loneliness: 55
• And loneliness is better than Eggs Benedict: 57
• Male and female compatibility rules: 59
• Run when you hear any of the following in a sentence: 61
• Never miss an opportunity to do nothing: 63
• Do not go for Cyranos nose: 65
• That couldnt be a book: 69
• Do not keep company with people who speak of careers: 71
• Just because the person who criticizes you is an idiot doesnt make him wrong: 73
• Never go to a cocktail party and in any case do not stay more than 20 minutes: 75
• Envy no oneever: 77
• Believe everyonealways: 79
• Do not attempt to improve anyone especially when you know it will help: 81
• If they tell you that its a long shotit is: 83
• Never bring news of slander to a friend: 85
• Its not about you: 87
• Never say any of the following: 91
• If you want to keep a man honest never call him a liar: 93
• The waitress is not waiting for you: 95
• Push the wheel forward: 97
• Dress for duress: 101
• A long and happy life lasts five minutes: 103
• Never work for anyone more insecure than yourself: 105
• The unexamined life lasts longer: 107
• No they dontand so what?: 109
• Abjure fame but avoid obscurity: 111
• Fast and steady wins the race: 115
• To thine own self be trueunless you would like to be someone else: 117
• Culture rules: 119
• If its just a teenyweeny bit wrongdestroy it: 121
• Never think on vacation: 123
• Change no more than oneeighth of your life at a time: 125
• Expect gratitude from everybody for everything: 127
• Live in the past but dont remember too much: 129
• Never do it for the money: 131
• Remember the Amana: 133
• If you are strange enough they will come: 135
• Never light the fire from the top: 137
• The game is played away from the ball: 139
• Apologize reconcile give help: 141

Bibliographic information

• Title: Rules for Aging: Resist Normal Impulses, Live Longer, Attain Perfection
• Author: Roger Rosenblatt
• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2000
• ISBN: 0151006598, 9780151006595
• Length: 148 pages