Stairway to Hell
British bar singer Rik Suntan, winner of the local Pub Idol contest two years in a row, is quite confident that it's just a matter of getting the right break before he becomes an internationally renowned rock star. The fact that he's singing to 15 people at the Blue Cairo three times a week has done little to dim his aspirations for global dominance of the music industry. Then his gig is canceled, and his girlfriend throws him out of their apartment; even bigger problems loom when his manager attempts to convince Rik that he is really the host for the soul of '70s rock icon David Bowie, a ritual performed on Rik when he was an infant by Led Zeppelin guitarist and black-arts practitioner Jimmy Page. A novel as barmy as this one is hard not to love, especially when Rik and a grizzled band of the halt and the lame attempt to take back the music from the greedy swill-masters behind The X Factor (what they do to Simon Cowell is worth the price of the book).
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ain’t anyway asked bloke blood Blue Cairo bollocks bottle Burninghouse can’t Cat Stevens Cliff Richard coming couldn’t couple David Bowie Delores donor door dunno Eggy Eggy’s Elvis eyes face feel felt flamin front fuck fuck’s sake fuckin George Foreman getting Gingernut glass going gonna gotta hair harelip he’d He’s head High Denomination Soul host inside Jim Taylor Jimmy Jimmy Page knew Lamb and Flag Limahl looked Marino Martin mean midget mind Miramar never o’clock Obolaye Oh yeah piss pulled remember Rik Suntan ritual saying Shell shit shouted singer singing someone song sort soulshift Stan started stopped stuff summat sure Ted’s tell telly Tequila Sunrise there’s they’re things thought told toothbrush turned twat urine urine handler wanna Warchester warlock wasn’t watch What’s who’s X Factor you’re Yusuf Zak Bremner