The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship

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Penguin, Jan 29, 2001 - Family & Relationships - 336 pages
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This straightforward guide explains how Chemistry, Respect, Enjoyment, Acceptance, Trust, and Empathy are the pillars that support a strong, successful relationship-and how couples can repair those pillars, protect them against the long-term wear and tear of stress, boredom, and bickering, and build a lasting, satisfying love.
 

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Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction
1   The 6 Pillars of Lasting Love
The Web of CREATE
When We Fall in Love
Falling Out of Love
Delay and Distraction
Commitment and Conviction
Some Final Tips
5   Acceptance
The Quality of Constancy
You Accept Me You Really Accept Me
Keeping Score
The MarsVenus Factor
When Youre Not Being Accepted
When You Cant Quite Accept Your Partner

The Keys to Communication
Building the Castle of Love
What Lies Ahead
2   Chemistry
The Chemistry Continuum
Better Loving Through Chemistry
How Chemistry Spreads
Why Chemistry Declines
Spotting the Early Warning Signs
Speaking of Sex
Come on Baby Light My Fire
3   Respect
Extramarital Respect
Why Respect Deteriorates
Respect Is in the Eyes of the Beholder
The Warning Signs of Disrespect
Overcoming Your Resistance
Learning to Respect Your Partner
Earn Your Own Respect
Thinking About Respect
Opening the Dialogue
The Heart of the Conversation
It Can Be Done
4   Enjoyment
Laughing and Kvelling
Terms of Enjoyment
Baby Baby Where Did Our Fun Go?
The Warning Signs
A Dialogue on Enjoyment
Creating Space for Enjoyment
Enhance Your Capacity for Enjoyment
Changing What Can Be Changed
6   Trust
The Varieties of Trust
Trusting Too Much or Too Little
When Trust Is Betrayed
The Measure of Distrust
Restoring Trust
The Four Hs and the Four Rs
When Enough Is Not Enough
Resisting Resistance
Build Trust by Entrusting
7   Empathy
Empathy Counters Antipathy
Empathy Heals Deep Wounds
The Roots of Empathy
Practice Makes Perfect
Finding the Right Words
Use Analogies
Know Your Partner
Put Yourself in Your Partners PlaceLiterally
Ask the Right Questions
Using Empathy When You Need It Most
8   How to Stay in Love
Building an Eagles Nest
Take the High Road
The Three Good Ps and the Three Bad Ps
Keeping Current
When Help Is Needed
And in the End   
Index
Copyright

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About the author (2001)

Mark Goulston, M.D., is a corporate consultant who works with executives, managers, and line workers to help them get out of their own way so they can realize the success that their skills, talents, and abilities deserve. His clients include Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, GE, White & Case, Eli Lilly and Company, Disney, Kodak, and the FBI. He writes "The Leading Edge" column for Fast Company. He was selected as one of America's Top Psychiatrists for 2004-2005 by the Consumers' Research Council of America. Dr. Goulston is the author of Get Out of Your Own Way and Six Secrets of a Lasting Relationship.
Philip Goldberg, a novelist and screenwriter, has authored or coauthored sixteen books.

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