This Town: Two Parties and a Funeral--plus, Plenty of Valet Parking!--in America's Gilded Capital

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Penguin, 2013 - Political Science - 386 pages
14 Reviews

Tim Russert is Dead. But the room was alive.

Big Ticket Washington Funerals can make such great networking opportunities. Power mourners keep stampeding down the red carpets of the Kennedy Center, handing out business cards, touching base. And there is not time to waste in a gold rush, even (or especially) at a solemn tribal event like this.

Washington This Town might be loathed from every corner of the nation, yet these are fun and busy days at this nexus of bug politics, big money, big media, and big vanity. There are no Democrats and Republicans anymore in the nation's capital, just millionaires. That is the grubby secret of the place in the twenty-first century. You will always have lunch in This Town again. No matter how many elections you lose, apologies you make, or make, or scandals you endure.

In This Town, Mark Leibovich, chief national correspondent for The New York Times Magazine, presents a blistering, stunning and often hysterically funny examination of our ruling class's incestuous 'media industrial complex.' Through his eyes, we discover how the funeral for a beloved newsman becomes the social event of the year. How political reporters are fetishized for their ability to get their names into the predawn e-mail sent out by the city's most powerful and puzzled-over journalist. How a disgraced Hill aide can overcome ignominy and maybe emerge with a more potent 'brand' than many elected members of Congress. And how an administration bent on 'changing Washington' can be sucked into the ways of This Town with the same ease with which Tea Party insurgents can, once elected, settle into it like a warm bath.

Outrageous, fascinating, and destined to win Leibovich a whole host of, er, new friends. This Town is must reading, whether you're inside the Beltway or just trying to get there.

'Today's insider Washington has become a sprawling 'conversation' in which tens of thousands partake by tweet, blog, or whatever . . . The Washington story has become something more momentous, befitting a 'narrative': a pumped-up word in a pumped-up place where everything is changing, maybe more than in any city in the country . . . Or maybe nothing is changing at all, and the only certainty is that the city fathers of This Town will endure like perennials in a well-tended cemetery.' From This Town

Warning: This Town does not contain an index. Those players wishing to know how they came out will need to read the book.

 

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User Review  - Iambookish - LibraryThing

A snarky, gossipy, name dropping tale of that crazy little town, D.C. This book only helps to emphasize the fact that our government is an screwed up mess with a cast of characters worthy of the most ... Read full review

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - publiusdb - LibraryThing

If you needed any reason to be cynical about American politics--especially nationally--then Mark Leibovich's This Town: Two Parties and a Funeral -- plus plenty of valet parking! -- in America's ... Read full review

Selected pages

Contents

Section 1
1
Section 2
19
Section 3
35
Section 4
69
Section 5
93
Section 6
113
Section 7
129
Section 8
157
Section 11
247
Section 12
261
Section 13
295
Section 14
323
Section 15
349
Section 16
361
Section 17
369
Section 18
373

Section 9
173
Section 10
223
Section 19
387
Copyright

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About the author (2013)

Prologue

June 2008

Tim Russert is dead. But the room was alive.

You can''t work it too hard at a memorial service, obviously. It''s the kind of thing people notice. But the big-ticket Washington departure rite can be such a great networking opportunity. You can almost feel the ardor behind the solemn faces: lucky stampedes of power mourners, about two thousand of them, wearing out the red-carpeted aisles of the Kennedy Center.

Before the service, people keep rushing down the left-hand aisle to get to Robert Gibbs, the journeyman campaign spokesman who struck gold with the right patron, Barack Obama, soon to be the first African-American nominee of a major party. If Obama gets elected, Gibbs is in line to be the White House press secretary. Gibbs is the son of librarians, two of the 10 percent of white Alabamans who will support Obama in November. "Bobby," as he was known back home, hated to read as a child and grew up to be a talker, now an increasingly hot one.

He keeps getting approached in airports and on the street for his autograph. He is a destination for a populace trained to view human interaction through the prism of "How can this person be helpful to me?" Gibbs has become potentially whoppingly helpful. People seek out and congratulate him for his success and that of his candidate, especially at tribal gatherings like this, a grand send-off for the host of Meet the Press.

Next to Gibbs presides another beneficial destination: David Axelrod, a Democratic media consultant and kibitzing walrus of a mensch who orchestrated Obama''s run to the 2008 Democratic nomination. Known as "Axe," Axelrod is a sentimental RFK Democrat whose swoon over Obama is unrivaled even by Gibbs''s. (Gibbs once called Axe "the guy who walks in front of Obama with rose petals.") Noting the big run on Gibbs and Axelrod, a columnist for Politico told me they were the new "it guys" at the service, and of course they were, in part for devising a communications strategy predicated on indifference to this very onrushing club of D.C.''s Leading Thinkers.

Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski are mobbed as well; they can barely get to their seats: assaulted with kudos for the success of Morning Joe, their dawn roundtable on MSNBC and a popular artery in the bloodstream of the Leading Thinkers. People keep pressing business cards into the cohosts'' palms, eager to get themselves booked, or their clients booked, or their books mentioned, just once, by Joe or Mika. "A new low, even for Washington tackiness," Mika will lament of the funereal hustle. But it''s important to be part of the conversation, anyone would understand. You seize your momentwhen it comes.

Bill and Hillary Clinton walk stiffly down the left aisle. Heads lurch and the collective effects are unmistakable: that exotic D.C. tingle falls over the room, the kind that comes with proximity to Superpowers. Bill and Hill. They are given wide berth. It had been a tough stretch. Hillary has just conceded the Democratic nomination. It ended an epic primary saga in which Bill had disgraced himself, making unpresidential and maybe racially loaded remarks about Obama. Neither Clinton is in a particularly good "place" with Washington at the moment, or with the media, or with the Democratic Party--or, for that matter, maybe with each other.

Bill''s top post-White House aide, Doug Band, is keeping a list on his BlackBerry of all the people who screwed over the Clintons in the campaign and who are now, as they say, "dead to us." Some of them dead are here at the Kennedy Center. There is a running joke inside Clinton World about all the bad things happening to the Clinton crossers. Ted Kennedy, who pivotally endorsed Obama in January, is now dying from a brain tumor. (After Kennedy''s endorsement, which came months before the tumor was discovered, his colleague Lindsey Graham asked Kennedy if he could inherit his Senate hideaway office. Why? "Because the Clintons are gonna kill you," Graham joked.) John Edwards, who also endorsed Obama, was busted for cheating on his dying wife; his disgrace is now in full spiral. The state of Iowa, whose Democratic voters slapped a humiliating third-place finish on Hillary in January''s caucuses, was devastated by biblical floods in the spring.

Now, true to her stoic and gritty precedent, Hillary is keeping her smile affixed like hardened gum and sending out powerful "Stay away from this vehicle" vibes. Ignoring the vibes, an eager producer for MSNBC''s Countdown beelines toward her, introduces herself to the Almighty, and prepares to launch a Hail Mary "ask" about whether the senator might possibly want to come on Countdown that night.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," Clinton responds to the eager producer, while the smile stays tight and she keeps right on walking. Hillary has a memorial service to attend: the memorial service of a man she and her husband plainly despised and who they believed (rightly) despised them back.

But the Clintons are pros at death and sickness. They show up. They play their assigned roles. They send nice notes and lend comfort to the bereaved in that warm and open-faced Clinton way. They are here with empathetic eyes to pay respects, like heads of Mafia families do when a rival godfather falls. Washington memorial services have that quality when the various personality cults convene: Bill and Hillary walking a few feet away from Newt and Callista Gingrich and right past David Shuster, the MSNBC host who has just been suspended by the network for saying the Clinton campaign "pimped out" Chelsea by having her call superdelegates. (Shuster has been barely heard from since. To reiterate: Don''t mess with the Clintons!) Bill and Hill, who appear not to have reserved seats, find two several rows back next to Madeleine Albright, the former secretary of state, and Condoleezza Rice, the current one.

Not far from the Gibbs and Axe receiving line, NBC''s Andrea Mitchell walks in with her husband, the conservative monetary oracle and former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan. One of the most dogged reporters in the city, Andrea adores her work and her friends, but mostly adores Alan. He is a prime Washington Leading Thinker who even when being blamed by many for running the economy off a cliff can always be seen on Andrea''s arm doing his courtly old dignitary thing at D.C. social events. If Washington was a comic book--and it sort of is--Greenspan would be in the background of every panel.

A few rows from Alan and Andrea sits Barbara Walters, the luminary TV interviewer and Chairman Greenspan''s former girlfriend. Back when Alan and Andrea were first dating, during the George H. W. Bush administration, they attended a dinner to honor Queen Elizabeth at the British embassy. In the presidential receiving line, Bush introduced Andrea to the queen. "Your Majesty, this is one of our premier American journalists," the president said, then turned to Mitchell and said, "Hello, Barbara." Bush sent a personal note of apology to Andrea the next day.

At the memorial service, Barbara sat over near Ken Duberstein, a vintage Washington character in his own right, who did a brief stint as the White House chief of staff during the checked-out final months of Ronald Reagan''s second term. Duberstein and Mitchell are old friends. Jews by religion and local royalty by acclamation, they once shared a memorable erev Yom Kippur--the holiest night on the Jewish calendar--at a most sacred of Official Washington shrines: the McLean, Virginia, mansion of Prince Bandar bin Sultan, Saudi Arabia''s ambassador to the United States, and his wife, Haifa. Dick and Lynne Cheney were also there. It was such a coveted social function. Andrea and Ken felt pangs of Jewish guilt but ultimately could not say no to this most holy of obligations. "In the end, we both decided that the Lord and our parents would somehow understand," Andrea later explained in her book, Talking Back.

Now a lobbyist, Duberstein has been riding the D.C. carousel for years, his Rolodex flipping with billable connections. He is an archetypical "former." That is, a former officeholder who can easily score a seven-figure income as an out-of-office wise man, pundit, statesman, or, if you would be so crass (and a true statesman never would be), hired gun. "Formers" stick to Washington like melted cheese on a gold-plated toaster.

Duberstein is often referred to in these words: "It isn''t exactly clear what Kenny does." You know you''ve made it in D.C. when someone says that--"It isn''t clear what he does"--about you. Such people used to have an air of mystery about them. You assumed they did something exotic, like work for the CIA. Now you might assume the Kuwaiti government or someone is paying them a gusher to do something not terribly virtuous. They would prefer not to discuss their work, if you don''t mind, and you have to respect their discretion. Ambiguity pays well here.

Duberstein is a regular at Ben Bradlee and Sally Quinn''s and talks constantly on the phone to his close friend Colin Powell, and even more constantly to everyone else about what "Colin was just telling me." Like most formers, Duberstein sits on many boards andloves to read his name in print or pixel--except, God forbid, if someone identifies him as a mere "former Reagan administration official," not Reagan''s "former chief of staff," in which case he will feel denied his full former bona fides and often complain. The standard line on Duberstein is that he spent six and a half months as Reagan''s chief of staff and twenty-four years (and counting) dining out on it.

As John McCain was securing the Republican nomination, Duberstein made inquiries about running his theoretical transition team, according to several campaign aides. That would

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