The Donut Emails

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Lulu.com, Dec 1, 2007 - Humor - 284 pages
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So how do you introduce a new employee at a high-tech venture-funded Silicon Valley startup? You have the Chief Donut Officer (CDO) send everyone a Donut Email! Here is an example for the new Director of HR: So what does our new Director of HR do? Let's give an example from another large organization. In "Lord of the Rings," Sauron is the Chief Bad Guy, and he controls a vast army of Orcs, Goblins, and Flying Ringwraiths. How do you keep all these employees happy and productive? You have a Director of In-Human Resources who understands both their needs and also the regulatory environment of Middle Earth. What are the issues of harassment and grievances and on-the-job accidents with spears and battle-axes? The CDO brought Donuts and composed Donut emails nearly every Friday for four years. During that time, Data Domain developed a nifty product, hired a bunch of great people, grew to over $100M in annual sales, and went public. Never underestimate what people will do for a really good Donut.
 

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Contents

2003 2004
3
24 RICH GUY
4
25 SOFTWARE QA PERSON
5
27 SCUZZY GUY
6
28 KING OF PERL
7
29 MOM
8
211 BIRTHDAY NETWORKER
9
212 BERKELEY RAIDER
10
350 REX HONORS ATLANTEANS
116
351 SECRET SANTA
118
352 SITTI DOWN WITH SYSTEM MANAGER
119
353 JINGGANGS HARDWARE SOFTWARE
120
2006
123
42 TAEKWANDO DAN
125
43 DONUTOGRAM
126
44 ALL THINGS PING
127

213 ASIA PARTNERS
11
214 MR ANON
12
215 ANTHONY TESTS LIMITS
13
217 PAT IN QA
14
218 SIR GREEN POSTIT NOTE
15
220 VICTORIOUS HUGO
16
IN MEMORY OF VETERANS
17
222 HELEN IN MARKETING
18
223 THOMAS THE SALES ENGINEER
19
224 FRANK MASTER AND COMMANDER
20
225 AL BACORE THE KILLER TUNA
21
226 PAT IN QA
22
227 ANON TEES UP SAZZALA
23
228 BOBBING FOR SPONSORS
24
230 JEFF Z A
26
231 LINDA THE PLATFORM PROGRAMMER
27
233 DAVES SAYS DDR IS NO DOG
28
234 LINDA GOES FOR A SPIN
29
235 SAZZALA APPOINTS APOLLO
30
236 SUPPORTING ENGINEER
31
237 ANON FORGER OF CDO
32
238 TEAM MAHESHWARI
33
239 THOMAS POINTS TO PARK
34
240 DONT TREAD ON DANA
35
241 RICH GOES OFF THE DEEPAVALI END
36
242 CAPITAL SALESPERSON
38
243 A QUALITY PAT
39
244 GOING TO THE MATT FOR DONUTS
40
245 MANICOTTI TO GO
41
246 A RAY FROM THE EAST
42
247 MIKE SPINS
43
2005
45
32 BATWOOD
46
33 ROLL OUT THE BARRALL
47
34 RAY SHINES ON REX
48
35 FEAT OF CLAY
49
36 LOTS OF SUPPORTERS
51
37 TEXAS JIM IS DOIN SUMPIN WRITE
52
38 RICK JOINS OUR CHATEAU
54
39 SPIN TO GLORIA
55
310 EIN BIER BITTE
56
311 BAY AREA RAPID BART
57
312 THE WILD BILL CHANNEL
58
313 QUEEN OF ARCHIVING QA
59
314 VISIONARY
61
315 SAZZALAS NEW BABY
62
316 DONUT WHEEL SPINS TO ANTHONY
63
317 RON HOLDS US TO HIGH STANDARDS
65
318 CDO RAMBLES ON AND ON
67
A CLASSY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE
69
320 ROLAND COMES TO DONUTLAND
70
321 BOB SUMS IT UP
72
322 REPEAT OFFENDER
73
323 VARUN SPIN
75
324 ZHENG JOKES AROUND
80
325 BEN FOUNDER DONE THAT
81
326 CHENGJIE COMPRESSES OWN NAME
83
327 DANA PROVIDES COOKIES NOT BUGS
84
328 PHANTOM SPIN TO SUMMER INTERNS
86
329 KEVIN OF EMEA
87
IMMIGRATION MAN
89
331 DONUTS SPONSORSHIP LIMERICKS
90
332 MATT IS A DISK DRIVING MAN
91
333 SPIN TO OPERATIONS
93
334 MICHAEL THE TERMINATOR
94
335 RICHARD DREAMS OF BITTER DAYS
96
336 SUMMER INTERNS
98
337 IN LIEU OF CUSTOMER SUPPORT
99
338 BRITISH ISLANDER
100
339 INSIDE SALEER
102
340 MILLION DOLLAR CLUB
103
341 PANIC DRIVER
105
342 RICK CAN WAIT TO BE ON ROAD AGAIN
106
343 PETER SPINS THE DONUT WHEEL
108
344 DINESH IS CUSTOMER SUPPORTER
109
345 DANA IS ONE YEAR OLD
110
346 DONUT EMAIL CORRECTION
112
348 ALISON TAKES DDR TO MARKET
113
349 ORDER OF NORA
115
45 JINGGANG IN OUR SOFTWARE GANG
128
46 APAC
130
JASON GOTCHA ALL
131
48 PRINCIPAL VINCE
133
49 DOUG BUT FIRST WE GO TO SPORTS
135
410 ACTION JACKSON
136
411 THOMAS THE SALES ENGINEER
138
THE MUFFIN MAN MUFFIN MAN
141
413 SAZZALA OF XOR
143
414 BRYAN BOOMING IN INSIDE SALES
144
415 CHRIS BEHAVIOR NOT DUE TO ALIENS
145
416 KEITH IN UK BY CHOICE
146
417 UMESH SPINS TO MICHAEL WHO
148
418 SCOTT THE NEW SE
150
419 DONUTS SPONSORED FOR LOIDA
151
420 KEVIN IN EUROPE
152
FASHIONABLE MORE
154
422 CDO AIRPORT SECURITY INCIDENT
156
424 JAPANESE TRANSLATION SERVICE
158
425 LISAS DONUT PROGRAM
159
SALES ARE GOING GREAT
160
427 NITIN SO DONT BE FORGITTIN
162
428 JAPAN OFFICE FOR ALAN OF AUSTRALIA
163
429 YOUR AMERICAN RIGHT TO VOTE
165
430 DDVA
167
431 DDVA ADDENDUM
169
INSTALLMENT 1
170
INSTALLMENT 2
171
INSTALLMENT 3
173
INSTALLMENT 4
175
INSTALLMENT 5
176
INSTALLMENT 6
178
2007
182
52 NEW EMPLOYEES
184
53 BETH LEADS
187
54 SOCAL NOT SOAKAL SE TEAM
189
55 MILANO STEFANO
191
56 CHRIS STANDS TALL
192
57 DAN THE B MAN
193
58 DONT MESS WITH TEXAS OR TSM
195
59 MORE ANONYMOUS
196
510 SHAWN FOR MUNCIE
197
DIETER ED AND YVETTE
199
512 SITTI MIKE AND DAN
200
513 DALE JAN AND LARRY
202
514 DAVID CELEBRATES A QUARTER
204
515 JAY CELSO AND PERRY
205
516 CDO MESSES WITH TEXAS
207
517 CEO SKIPPER SLOOTMAN
209
A FRENCH FAN
210
519 CDO AVEC FRANCAIS OR FROMAGE
211
520 MICHAEL BOB AND DINESH
212
521 DIRECTOR OF INHUMAN RESOURCES
214
522 STEVE AND VIC FROM MINNESOTA
215
523 REX HONORS SES
216
524 PETER TILO AND TOM
219
525 ALLAN AND DARREN
221
526 ALAN KATERI ROBERT AND BRYAN
223
527 TARIQ DAVID AND JAN
225
528 LONG WINDING ROAD LEADS TO IPO
228
DEMOLITION MAN
230
POSTIPO DONUTS
232
532 HERES A SOFTBALL
234
533 SIDNEY IS BIG OPERATOR
236
534 DONUTS AGAIN MESS WITH TEXAS
237
536 WHY YOU SHOULD BE NICE TO FREDDIE
238
537 LETS MESS WITH SOUTH CENTRAL
239
538 TEXAS MESSES WITH CDO
241
540 CDO GOES THE DISTANCE FOR INSIDE SALES
242
541 ED MANAGES TO BRIDGE GAP
244
NOW WITH ANZLA
246
543 WAY DOWN SOUTHEAST IN THE LAND OF DEDUPLICATION AND REMOTE REPLICATION
248
544 BEAUCOUP TITLES
250
545 THE WIZARDS OF OS PLATFORM OS
251
546 THE ZTEAM
253
547 JENNA SHAKES UP THE ORGANIZATION
254
548 OUR TEAM IN THE CITY OF BIG SHOULDERS
257
549 DAVID KEEPS THINGS OPERATING
259
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