The Dynamics of Powerful Parenting: A Human Nature Approach

Front Cover
Trafford Publishing, 2005 - 177 pages

The Dynamics of Powerful Parenting is a book about power, the power held by a parent to shape the development of a child, and the power of a child to either accept or reject those efforts.

Often, when things are not working well for parents with their children, they will continue doing the same things, yet with ever more vigor. Usually, the result will be more of the same, only worse. A secret to understanding the dynamics of many human behaviors lies in the paradox of the Chinese Finger Puzzle (aka: Chinese Handcuff). The Chinese finger puzzle is a tube woven from bamboo shoots that is several inches long and about the diameter of a person's fingers; true to its nature, the tube will narrow as its ends are pulled. Thus, when the tube is slipped over the ends of fingers or thumbs on opposing hands, the subject's efforts to pull his or her fingers apart are met with increasing resistance from the device.

So it is with much of being human. The thing that people wish to avoid most is the very thing that results from their efforts to do so.

Dynamics is a book written with this paradox in mind. It is a book of insights about parenting that turns upside down many of the things that are currently held dear in "traditional" parenting efforts. It is a book that downplays the use of punishment, but never overlooks the need for discipline and responsibility. Dynamics encourages parents to think about what they are doing, how they are doing it, and what are they are experiencing as a result, then provides useful tools for changing undesired outcomes. It is a book that can produce positive results that will benefit generations yet unborn.


 

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Contents

1 INFANCY AND THE PARADOX OF LIFE
1
TODDLERHOOD AND THE TYRANNICAL CHILD
10
3 CONSCIENCE
21
4 POWER AS STRONG MEDICINE
35
5 WINNING IS A GOOD THING
49
6 CONTAINMENT REVISITED
64
7 RELATIONSHIPS
85
APPENDIX INTERVENTIONS
117
HOLDINGS AND RESTRAINTS
143
GROUNDING
146
WORK AS PUNISHMENT 6 THROUGH 17
148
SIBLING RIVALRY
150
RIDING IN CARS WITH NOISE
155
THE BUSINESS OF PARENTING
156
WINWIN PARENTING WORKSHEET
160
TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIMEA DIALOGUE
164

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
118
AN ATTACHMENT TO PERSPECTIVE
119
AN OVERVIEW
122
A BRIEF DISSERTATION
132
CONTROL IN A MINUTE OR TWO
137
ANOTHER PARENTAL MUST
141
AGES 9 THROUGH 15
167
A GUIDE FOR RESPONSIBLE PARENTING
169
BIBLIOGRAPHY
176
SELECTED READING LIST
177
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