The Ernies Book: 1000 Terrible Things Australian Men Have Said about Women

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Allen & Unwin, Nov 8, 2007 - Humor - 227 pages
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In 1993 a small group of women gathered to celebrate the retirement of the original Ernie, a notoriously sexist trade union official who claimed that the only reason women wanted to become shearers was for the sex. The event grew to become the Annual Ernie Awards, the world's premier event shaming men for outrageous sexism.

Fifteen years of Australian male chauvinist piggery is faithfully chronicled here with name, rank and serial number - from John Laws to John Howard, from David Oldfield to David Hookes, from Pat Cash to Paddy McGuinness and Australia's former favourite son-in-law, Tom Cruise. Chefs, archbishops, judges, footballers, shock jocks and politicians are all in our sights.

I never turned away from Cathy. No matter how fat she was...

-Nick Bideau, Cathy Freeman's ex-coach and ex-partner

I bet she's now sorry she burnt her bra all those years ago (on Germaine Greer at 63).

-Ray Hadley, broadcaster

What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?

-Mel Gibson, actor

With a nod to the good guys such as Don Bradman and Russell Crowe (really!), The Ernies Book is unashamedly wicked. If it weren't so funny, you'd have to cry.

For all these years Meredith Burgmann and Yvette Andrews ran the Ernie Awards. They are now running for their lives.

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Awards key
booze and boos
in the beginning
keep them nervous
i do
its not like its the maltese falcon
a lot of fussy old chooks
wayward waiters and worthy winners
hairy legs and tufty armpits
mobile phones are the weapons of mass destruction
the ernies model
four hundred of Australias most powerful women
uncovered meat
The Good Ernie
The Elaines
Dishonour Board

pearls before swine
even when she was fat
ernies to undies
will it be the willy?
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Page 22 - There is, of course, nothing wrong with a husband faced with his wife's initial refusal to engage in intercourse, in attempting, in an acceptable way, to persuade her to change her mind, and that may involve a measure of rougher than usual handling.
Page 186 - If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?
Page 20 - Bland are quickly forgotten: often, despite criticism that has been directed towards judges lately about . . . men acting violently to women during sexual intercourse, it does happen, in the common experience of those who have been in the law as long as I have anyway, that no subsequently means yes.
Page 204 - Australians by those who promote political correctness and those who control the various taxpayer funded 'industries' that flourish in our society servicing Aboriginals, multiculturalists and a host of other minority groups." In a newspaper interview she declared that: 'the most downtrodden person in this country is the white AngloSaxon male'.
Page 189 - As the nursery rhyme goes, when they're good, they're very, very good, but when they're bad, they're horrid.
Page 72 - It is bad manners to expel any liquid from any orifice in public, and breastfeeding is no different.
Page 28 - ... Court pronouncement in Stanbrook that a comatose woman is not traumatised by rape resulted in media coverage and community critique, with his judgment being overturned on appeal.8 In Queensland, in the Federal Court case Chambers v James Cook University, Spender J's statement during argument that it is "not unknown for a woman to sleep her way to the top...
Page 38 - Found a man not guilty of stalking a woman for seven years: / don't think he was intimidating her, he was just being persistent. He was being like a little puppy dog wagging its tail...

About the author (2007)

Meredith Burgmann is a writer, academic and powerhouse of Labor politics. She was president of the NSW Legislative Council for eight years until she stepped down from parliament in March 2007. Yvette Andrews worked with Meredith as an advisor and together they organised The Ernies for many years.

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