The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love"What's gone and what's past help," Shakespeare wrote, "should be past grief." But Thomas Attig argues that Shakespeare is wrong--that a grieving survivor need never let go. In The Heart of Grief, Attig gives us an inspiring and profoundly insightful meditation on the meaning of grief, showing how it can be the path toward a lasting love of those who have died. Recounting dozens of stories of people who have struggled with deaths in their lives, he describes grieving as a transition from loving in presence to loving in separation. The thing we long for most--the return of the one who is missing--is the very thing that we can never have, kindling the intense pain of our loss. But Attig argues that we can, in fact, build an enduring, even reciprocal, love, a love that tempers our pain. He tells stories, for instance, of a young girl taking some of her dead sister's practical advice as she enters high school, a widower realizing how much intimate life with his wife has colored his character, and an athlete drawing inspiration from his dead brother and achieving what they had dreamed of together. Far from forgetting our loved ones, Attig urges us to explore ways in which our memories of the departed can be sustained, our understanding of them enhanced, and their legacies embraced, so they continue to play active roles in our everyday and inner lives. Groundbreaking and original, inspiring and compassionate, The Heart of Grief offers guidance, comfort, and a new understanding of how we grieve. |
Contents
II TRANSITIONS TO LASTING LOVE | 65 |
III MEMORIES | 105 |
IV PRACTICAL LIFE | 159 |
RETURNING HOME | 191 |
REVIVING HOPE | 243 |
Grief Is a Journey of the Heart | 281 |
Acknowledgments | 287 |
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Common terms and phrases
Alcoholics Anonymous Alex Haley alive appreciate asked bring brother C. S. Lewis Carla ceremonies of separation challenges cherish comfort companions continue dead death deeply delight died draw inspiration dying enduring connection everyday experiences face families and communities family and friends family members father favorite feel fellow survivors felt funeral funeral director Gabe Gabe's Grace Grandma grief Grief Observed grieving hearts Henry hold hope hurt Joanne Kathryn knew lasting love Laura legacies let go life's companions lives loss marriage meaning memories Morrie Schwartz mother never Nina ourselves pain and anguish pain of missing Papa parents places presence realize recall relationships remember riences Sam Keen sense shared Shoeless Joe Jackson someone Sometimes Soul food soul music soul pain spirits stories talk tell things told touched troubled unfinished business walk wonderful