The Hipster Handbook

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Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, Nov 26, 2008 - Humor - 176 pages
3 Reviews
hip•ster - \hip-stur (s)\ n. One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck.") The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat.

Clues You Are a Hipster

1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.

2. You frequently use the term "postmodern" (or its commonly used variation"PoMo") as an adjective, noun, and verb.

3. You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.

4. You have refined taste and consider yourself exceptionally cultured, but have one pop vice (ElimiDATE, Quiet Riot, and Entertainment Weekly are popular ones) that helps to define you as well-rounded.

5. You have kissed someone of the same gender and often bring this up in casual conversation.

6. You spend much of your leisure time in bars and restaurants with monosyllabic names like Plant, Bound, and Shine.

7. You bought your dishes and a checkered tablecloth at a thrift shop to be kitschy, and often throw vegetarian dinner parties.

8. You have one Republican friend whom you always describe as being your "one Republican friend."

9. You enjoy complaining about gentrification even though you are responsible for it yourself.

10. Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.

11. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Definitive Jux, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, and Drag City.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

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The hipster handbook

User Review  - Not Available - Book Verdict

Welcome to the esoteric world of the well-read and well-educated, where all things are either deck ("punk rock," cool) or fin (over). The hipster's answer to the Official Preppy Handbook, this volume ... Read full review

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This was the funniest book I read in the 'aughts. And mostly exact.


Everything That Once Was Cool Is Now Deck
11 Clues You Are a Hipster
11 Clues You Are Not a Hipster
Who Says Tubular Anymore?
Phrases and Terms Avoided by Hipsters
Core Elements of Hipsterdom
The UTF Unemployed TrustFunder
Styles Hipsters Avoid
Theyve Gone Suburban
Pierce Wisely
Metal as Fuck
The WASH Waitstaff and Service Hipster
Waddup Bitch? Hipsters and Their Greetings
wwwhipsterhandbookcom and Other Deck Sites
Hipster Magazines
The NeoCrunch

What About Indie Rockers?
Separating the Deck from the Fin
The Clubber
Dining Diet and Dinner Parties
The Loner
Choosing a Bar
The Perfect Bronson
Beers Hipsters Avoid
Hipster Cocktails
Cocktails Hipsters Avoid
Gotta Light? Hipster Cigarettes
The Schmooze
More Than a Matter of Style
Grooming Makeup and Surgery for the Hipster Female
Hipster Hairdos for Men
Hipster Hairdos for Women
Maxwells Carpets and CK1s
A Day in the Life Slacker Style
The Teeter
Indigenous Zones of the Hipster in the United States and Canada
The Ivy Leagues for Hipsters
The Polit
Working for the Man
The Job Interview
The Bipster
I Want My MTV Disconnected
If You Havent Read These Works at Least Pretend You Have
Rolling Out the Red Carpet or The Oscars Suck Ass
Dating a Hipster
Some Common and Uncommon Pairings in Dating
Dating a NonHipster
The Aging Hipster
Are You a Hipster?
It Takes a Village

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Common terms and phrases

About the author (2008)

About the Author

Robert Lanham is the author of the romantic series known as The Emerald Beach Trilogy which includes the works Pre-Coitus, Coitus, and Aftermath. This collection of novels was recently called “a beach towel classic” by Redbook. Robert has a great body and often drives shirtless in his Camaro. He brushes his teeth several times daily, but is nevertheless prone to cavities. He is currently the Editor of FREEwilliamsburg, which can be found online at He lives in Brooklyn, New York and works at Foot Locker on the weekends.

About the Art Director

Bret Nicely's theories linking artistic practices with sandwich making buttressed much of the cultural output of the early 21st century. His work "Post-Structuralist Beer n' Brat" won the 2002 Turner Prize and was named a "Best One Dish Meal" by Gourmet Magazine. Bret began working with Robert Lanham through their shared interest in falafel, and in 1999 became the Chief Creative Officer at FREEwilliamsburg. He lectures widely around the world and currently lives in Brooklyn.

About the Drawer

Jeff “J-dawg” Bechtel grew up on the cruel streets of Richmond, Indiana. As a teenager, he battled an addiction to glue and took up drawing to escape the thug life. He was recently called "the greatest Drawer of his generation" by Phil Donahue. His work has appeared in Dutch, Maxim International, and Family Circus. He currently lives and works in Brooklyn.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

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