The Relic: A Novel
The Relic is an irreverent fictional autobiography narrating the picaresque adventures of Teodorico, a Portuguese playboy determined to be the sole heir of his absurdly pious, sexually repressed, and tyrannical Auntie. Sent to the Holy Land, he returns with what he presumes is the “relic of relics” in hopes of persuading Auntie to bequeath her vast fortune to him. While in Jerusalem, Teodorico has a vision in which he witnesses Christ’s trial and crucifixion and the founding of Christianity—with a twist.
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Adelia Alpedrinha arms aunt Auntie Auntie’s Babylonia beard beneath blue breast Caesar Christ church cloak cried Crispim cross dark devout divine Dona Patrocinio door dressed Egypt Essenian eyes face fell fingers flowers Galilee Gamaliel Gareb gleamed Godinho gold green hair hands heart heaven Herod hill holy hung Idumea Jerusalem Jesus Joseph of Arimathea Judea Justino kiss knees lady land learned Topsius light linen lips Lisbon Lord marble Margaride Mary’s Moab Mount of Olives murmured muttered Negrão night night-dress oratory Padre Casimiro Padre Pinheiro parcel Pharisees Potte Praetor Praetorium pray prayers priest Rabbi Raposo relic Roman rose round sacred Sadducees Samaria Sanhedrin Sant’Anna scent seemed Senhor shone shouted side sighed silent slowly smiling soft stone stood street Syria tell Temple Teodorico Thorns Tiberias told tomb trembling tunic Via Dolorosa Vicencia wall women wrapped