The Right Side of Forty: The Complete Guide to Happiness for Gay Men at Midlife and Beyond

Front Cover
Magnus Books, 2012 - Self-Help - 230 pages
Aging, with its accompanying sense of loss and the passage of time, has the potential to be psychologically painful for everyone, but it can be particularly complicated for gay men. Our early life is often marked by an inability to relate to other males in childhood and adolescence. Once we identify ourselves as openly gay in young adulthood, we may achieve a new sense of fulfillment, but the ways we connect to other gay men may also make us feel particularly vulnerable as we age. And gay men now reaching forty may find themselves without appropriate role models for successful aging just when we need them most, having lost a significant number of older gay men in the first decades of the AIDS epidemic who might otherwise now be exemplars of adapting, even thriving, as they face the prospect of getting older.

Connecting to the Right Side of Forty follows a step-by-step program that the author has developed working for over two decades with clients. The book draws upon the insights of clinical practice, the life-stories of gay men, and the practical benefit of cognitive therapy in a work tailored specifically to the unique needs of gay men in the twenty-first century who are now struggling with aging without the example of older mentors. Instead of viewing our adventure of interacting with gay men as coming to an end at mid-life, Bergeon's method reveals how much we have yet to accomplish in learning about ourselves and how to connect differently with others. Through his book gay men will see mid-life as an exciting and transformational voyage to embark upon in our years after forty.

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About the author (2012)

Bob Bergeron, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and highly regarded psychotherapist in private practice with over two decades of clinical experience devoted to the health and mental health issues of gay men. Through his therapy practice, workshops, media and public appearances, Bob has become a recognized expert on addiction, anxiety, depression, aging and couples counseling, work that he will detail in this book.

Bob speaks regularly on mental health topics and has been a guest on such programs as “The Early Show” on CBS, NY1 “City Hall” on NY1, “One In Ten” on FNX radio network, “Karel and Andrew” on KF1 Radio in LA, and “OutQ” on the Sirius radio network. His work has been featured in numerous publications, including The New York Times, TimeOut New York, HX, POZ and New York Press., and he writes frequently on health and mental health topics, including HIV prevention for GMHC and articles on substance use for OUT, HX and He has also produced a series of mental health bulletins that have been widely used by internists in New York City with gay male practices.

In addition to maintaining his private practice, Bob has been involved in many public health initiatives for gay men in collaboration with some of the country’s leading AIDS organizations, including San Francisco’s Stop AIDS, Seattle’s Gay City, AIDS Project Los Angeles, and Housing Works in Manhattan. As former Director of HIV Prevention at GMHC, he was part of the clinical team that created that GMHC’s Substance Use Counseling and Education program and is currently a member of the New York City HIV Prevention Planning Work-group, which advises the NYC Department of Health on issues relating to gay men, has advised the Queer Wellness Fund of New York’s Stonewall Foundation, and has made presentations to the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Saint Vincent’s Medical Center and the New York Hospital Infectious Disease Specialists, the New York State AIDS Institute and the New York City Department Of Health.

Bob Bergeron is forty-eight, openly gay and lives in New York City.

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