The Seinfeld Scripts: The First and Second Seasons

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Harper Collins, Apr 30, 1998 - Humor - 544 pages
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Jerry. George. Elaine. Kramer.

We've followed their misadventures for nearly ten years on Thursday nights. Here, finally, are the scripts of the first two seasons that will take you back to the beginning of Seinfeld.

Featuring the first 17 episodes ever aired, The Seinfeld Scripts contains all the great lines that have kept us laughing for years: the pilot episode, "The Seinfeld Chronicles," where it all began; George introduces his importer/exporter altar ego Art Vanderlay in "The Stakeout"; Kramer becomes obsessed with cantaloupe in "The Ex-Girlfriend"; Jerry and George meet Elaine's dad in "The Jacket"; is Jerry responsible for a poor Polish woman's death when he makes "The Pony Remark"?; Jerry and Elaine decide to become intimate again in "The Deal"; what will George do when he is banned from the executive bathroom in "The Revenge"?; and Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table in "The Chinese Restaurant."

It's all here: the award-winning writing of Seinfeld, "the defining sitcom of our age". Created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.

Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease.
Jerry: Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome?
Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.


George: She calls me up at my office she says, "We have to talk."
Jerry: The four worst words in the English language.


Kramer: What a body. Yeeaaah...that's for me.
Jerry: Yeah and you're just what she's looking for, too--a stranger, leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.

 

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Contents

SCRIPTS
10
the Stake Out
29
the Robbery
65
Male Unbonding
95
the Stock Tip
125
THE ExGlRLFRIEND
155
the Pony Remark
the Jacket 2 I 5
the Apartment 279
the Statue 3 11
the Revenge 347
the Heart Attack 379
the Deal 409
the Baby Shower 441
the Chinese Restaurant 47 i
THE BUSBOY 499

the Phone Message 247

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About the author (1998)

Stand-up comedian, comic television actor, advertising pitchman, and author, Jerry Seinfeld makes a seamless transition from one role to the next. He earned the 1992 and 1993 American Comedy Award for Best Actor in a comedy series and an Emmy award for outstanding comedy series for the hit television comedy that bears his name. The show completed its prime-time run with a media blitz in 1998, but appears regularly in syndication. Based very closely on Seinfeld's real-life circumstances and experiences, Seinfeld's show is, according to the actor himself, "about nothing." In some respects, however, it is autobiographical: what happens to a comedian living in New York City as he passes time with friends between shows. He is single, thin and neat, and loves baseball, fast cars, Superman, and cereal. Seinfeld's books, Jerry Seinfeld: Stand-Up Confidential (1987) and Sein Language (1993), follow the same themes. Seinfeld was born in Brooklyn, New York on April 29, 1955. He has a degree in theater communications from Queens (N.Y.) College. Seinfeld is single and still calls New York home.

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