The Varmits: Living with Appalachian Outlaws

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AuthorHouse, Aug 18, 2011 - Biography & Autobiography - 196 pages
Smack dab in the middle of the 70s and Appalachia, Ted rented a 30 acre farm and inherited a menagerie of animals. Strange given the fact that he grew up in suburban Oklahoma City in the days of Father Knows Best, never visited his Uncles farm without having his allergies kick up, and didnt know jack about doing anything demanded of farm life. Another thing, the farm was surrounded by Varmits. These neer-do-wells lived in the hills and hollers of Meigs County, Ohio and became infamous in their own minds for softball playing, cock fighting, dope growing, Grateful Dead listening, free loving, and beer drinking. Ted became Scoop to the Varmits through his skills as a first baseman, all the while pursuing a Ph.D. in interpersonal communication at Ohio University back in Athens. This introspective book is Teds lively account of the adventures of his dual life, attending a cock fight high on mushrooms and giving a graduation address to thousands, skinny-dipping at Varmit State Park and completing doctoral comprehensives, running with outlaws while preparing to become successful in his chosen profession, growing a garden and trying to grow up himself. It was a wild ride, and what he learned about himself being a Varmit has lasted a lifetime.
 

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Contents

Prologue
7
Moving to the Country
13
Irv and Little Joe Indoctrination
24
Summer School and Schools of Fish
29
The Iron Men
34
The Good Ol Summer Time
43
Porn Jesus and Iced Tea
54
Ringers Skinnydippers and Victors
61
Fall Leaves and the Fall Crop
111
If Winter Comes Can Spring Be Far Behind
115
One Big Turkey One Big Test
121
Abby
129
The Passage Ritual
133
The Pig Roast
139
Eric Sevareid and Three Minutes of Fame
150
The Road Trip to Revelation
155

Neighborly Love Corn and Cream
75
The Crook Resigns
85
Perfect Company and The Ball Mason Perfect Company
91
Love Art Research and Turkeys
102
Magic Mushrooms and Flying Feathers
162
Epilogue
169
Acknowledgements
185
Copyright

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About the author (2011)

Teds first paid job was shoveling chicken shit in Oklahoma. He worked his way up to be on the board of directors of an airline, with stints in between as a busboy, waiter, preacher, camp counselor, token white on a black drama team, college professor, state employee, wine company owner, and management consultant. He helped start the Hillsdale Farmers Market, and now serves on two non-profit boards and has become a master chocolatier. He has published several academic articles, film reviews, magazine and newspaper features, and penned lots of corporate communication. This is his first memoir. Ted lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Meg, and their yellow lab, Koufax.

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