Wallbanger

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Simon and Schuster, Feb 14, 2013 - Fiction - 320 pages
4 Reviews
A bestselling hot, hilarious eBook by USA TODAY indie author Alice Clayton, the freshest voice to hit publishing in years. “An instant classic…highly recommended!” (New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Jennifer Probst).

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a Kitchen Aid mixer to die for, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O. Adding insult to O-less, she also has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Every moan, spank, and—was that a meow?—punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has—yep, you guessed it—no O. Enter Simon Parker. When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has…well…mixed results. Because with walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick. A delicious mix of silly and steamy, this is an irresistible tale of exasperation at first sight.

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - mojo09226 - LibraryThing

I DNFed this book. I mean it started out promising but then while I was waiting for the main couple to FINALLY get down to business I got bored and skipped to that part and then it wasn't even worth ... Read full review

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If you plan on reading Wallbanger, expect a novel that equal parts hilarious, adorable, and hot. Please don't ask me how Alice Clayton accomplishes it. Wizardry maybe? Wallbanger is beautifully layered to provide you with the best reading experience. Even the most minor characters, such as Wallbanger's Harem of women, are well-rounded girls with back stories. You'll also find the writing form to be entertaining. There's mostly first person but also, text message logs, inside thoughts of minor characters, and even a hearty little chapter by Caroline's cat, Clive. I could drone on and on about the quality of the writing and the immense layering of Clayton's characters. You might even enjoy reading all that I have to say about this masterpiece. However, I think I might just let the novel do all the talking.More like, let Simon, or Wallbanger, and Caroline, also known as Pink Nightie Girl, do the talking. So, here is ten reasons why you should read Wallbanger.
Quote 1:
“And Caroline? Speaking fo thin walls?" he said, as he opened his door and looked back at me. He leaned in his own doorway, thumping his fist on the wall.
"Yes?" I asked a little too dreamily for my own good.
His smirk reappeared and he said, "Sweet dreams".
He thumped the wall one more time, winked, and went inside. Huh.
Sweet dreams and thin walls.
Sweet dreams and thin walls...Mother of pearl.
He'd heard me...”
Quote 2:
“I wouldn’t say I know him, but I’m familiar with his work.”
Quote 3:
“Meow! Oh, God. Me -Yow!”
The girl next door was meowing.
What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?
Clive, at this point, went utterly bonkers and launched himself at the wall.
He was literally climbing it, trying to get where the noise was coming from, and adding his own meows to the chorus.
“Oooh yes, just like that, Simon…Mmmm….Meow, meow, Meow!”
Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of this wall tonight.”
Quote 4:
“Simon does commando. God bless America.”
Quote 5:
“Hi, pot. It’s me, kettle,” Sophia snapped back.
“Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.”
Quote 6:
“Have you seen this guy yet?"
"Nope. My peephole is getting a workout, though."
"Glad to hear at least one hole is getting some action around here.”
Quote 7:
“No way, buddy. I'm not machuuing your pichu now. Huh-uh”
Quote 8:
“Was I seriously awake at, let’s see, one sixteen a.m. and attempting to discern the national origin of the woman getting plowed next door?”
Quote 9:
“Prepare yourself, I’m taking bread out of the oven."
"Don’t tease me, woman… zucchini?"
"Cranberry orange. Mmmm…"
"No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.”
Quote 10:
“You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed.
“You have no idea,” he promised.”
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About the author (2013)

Alice Clayton worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen (read: laptop). She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her. And she finally got her Bernese Mountain Dog.

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