What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats

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Hyperion Books, Apr 8, 2008 - Humor - 192 pages
The creator of the "Deep Thoughts" segments on Saturday Night Live presents a compendium of favorite writings and previously unpublished work, in a volume that features such quips as "Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff." 60,000 first printing.

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User Review  - MiaCulpa - LibraryThing

As someone who has never watched “Saturday Night Live”, I’m not au fait on the career of Jack Handey. He seems to be an expert on the pithy short humorous content and “What I’d say to the Martians ... Read full review

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This Book has become one of the most funny and inspiring books I have had the pleasure to get for someone else and then steal back to read for myself! I love it. and you'd have to be dead in the head to not break an intellectual rib reading it yourself.
my favorite chapter- so far- "Waffle & Pancake Council"
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About the author (2008)

Jack Handey is the author of the bestselling Deep Thoughts series of books. He was a staff writer for Saturday Night Live, and has won two Emmy Awards and a Writers Guild of America Award. His humor pieces have appeared in the New Yorker, Outside, Playboy, National Lampoon, Punch, and other publications. He lives in Santa Fe, NM, with his wife, dog, and cats. Some people believe that Jack Handey is a made-up name of an imaginary person, and idea that Handey is trying to promote amongst his creditors.

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