When Roles Reverse: A Guide to Parenting Your Parents

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Hampton Roads Publishing, Aug 15, 2006 - Family & Relationships - 328 pages
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The answers you need—the personal, "been there" advice you can trust.

After his father suffered a massive stroke and his mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, Jim Comer found himself an overnight "parent" at the age of 51. When he walked into his father's hospital room everyone looked to him as the “man who knew all the answers.” He soon realized he didn't even know the questions.

In ten years of caregiving, Comer has not only learned the questions he has lived them, and with When Roles Reverse he shares his hard-won answers.

He learned to deal with hospitals, insurance companies, rehab centers, his father's deafness and his mother’s dementia. Through it all Jim has kept his sanity and sense of humor, in the process forging a deeper, more intimate relationship with his parents.

With laugh-out-loud humor, Jim deals with improvisational moments for which there is no preparation:You find three gallons of Scotch in your dad’s retirement home closet;Your Mother refuses to leave her home of 34 years and can only be coaxed into the car with promises of ice cream;At a crowded Sunday dinner table, your father announces that he wants you to give him an enema after lunch…

And offers personal experience and expert insight on the many issues it’s absolutely essential to plan for such as:Wills, powers of attorney, and other legal documents every family needsWhich siblings will be there when your parents need them?Selecting a first-rate care facility and getting long-term care insuranceNew Medicaid guidelines and how to qualifyHospice care and end-of-life decisions

When Roles Reverse even includes "Fifty Questions that will save you Time, Money, and Tears," a special section designed to help families initiate vital communication and prepare for the crises, confusion and unexpected joys of caregiving.

 

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Contents

Foreword by Liz Carpenter
You Can Do This
Retirement Homes
When Roles Reyerse 1 The Day Eyerwhing Changed 2 Starting Qyer at FiftyOne 3 Just Show
Dealing with Denial
Role Models Are Foreyer
Its ka to Talk a ut h Hard tuff 7 0 into Her
You Dont Haye to Be an Expert 2 Opportunities for Spiritual Growth I Could Haye Done Without 1 Im reat inaTorna o ut a eM from he Dail rin 11 ...
Got More Than I Gaye
Oyewiew of LongTermt lare Facilities
The Good
The Bad and the Ugly
What You Dont Know Will Hurt You Legal and Financial Issues
Elder Law Attorneys
Get It in Writing
Resources Finding the Help You Need

et er It 13 Life Behind the Polyester Curtain
Make Friends with the Staff
A Force of Nature Called
Finances and Fundamentals
Going Gently
Unexpected loys 19 reatin Ne Memories 20 December 2005
Funerals Are for the Liying
eriatric are Mana er 36 Area Agencies on Aging
Medicare and Medicaid Planning
Yeterans Benefits 39 National Agencies
State Insurance Departments and Agencies
Acknowledgments
Copyright

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About the author (2006)

Jim Comer has appeared on The Today Show, written jokes for Bob Hope, Op-Eds for The New York Times, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times, and worked as a speech coach and creative consultant for Fortune 500 companies. He lives in Austin, Texas.

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