Why Animals Sleep So Close to the Road (and Other Lies I Tell My Children)

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Macmillan, Aug 8, 2006 - Humor - 224 pages

Susan Konig's first book offers a uniquely frank look at the modern family by "an exceptional humorist on the order of Erma Bombeck and Jean Kerr" (Library Journal).

The Konigs can barely turn around in a city apartment that seems to be shrinking. With Baby #3 on the way, they take drastic measures: They buy a house and move to The 'Burbs. Countless sticky adventures ensue.

In her hilariously unflinching account of motherhood and domestic pursuits, Konig shares a supermom's little secrets, from the importance of Cheerios to the truth about Bambi's mother ("she was running an errand").

 

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - bookwormteri - LibraryThing

Cute, but nothing special. An overworked and harried mother writes short essays covering the gamut from moving out of NYC, pregnancy, getting a dog, debt problems, and when did I stop being a party girl. It was alright. Read full review

Why animals sleep so close to the road: and other lies I tell my children

User Review  - Not Available - Book Verdict

Konig, an exceptional humorist on the order of Erma Bombeck and Jean Kerr, offers a superbly witty account of her family's move from a small Manhattan apartment to a house in the suburbs. This is no ... Read full review

Contents

The Family That Stays Together in a Really Small Apartment Prays for More Space
1
Of Mice and Me
5
Mouse Redux
9
Throwing Up Walls
12
Do You Know Where Your Children Are?
15
Confessions of a Former Party Girl
19
Moms Hobby
23
Bunk Beds and Movie Stars
31
A New Cat
103
Fill er Up
106
A Stomach Flu for the New Millennium
110
A Martha Stewartless Christmas
113
A Big Irish Maam
117
The Scourge of Modern Christmas
122
Let It Snow
127
The Babys Surgery
130

Impersonating Home Buyers
34
You Start to Live When You Learn to Drive
38
A Good Old Cat
44
The Closing from Hell
47
Leaving
52
Moving Day
55
Cleaning for the Cleaning Lady
58
Too Darn Hot
62
How to Swim and When to Let Go
65
The Horrible Truth About Bearing Children
69
Dead on the Prairie
75
Happiness Is Closet Space
80
Like a Good Neighbor Were Fully Insured
84
Cant Shoot em
88
Nature Stinks
92
Suburban Peril
95
The ExPets
99
The Sewer Comes to Us
133
Whos Watching the Kids?
139
Aggravated Devotion
147
School Socks
151
Going Back to the Gym
155
Movie Star Hair
159
All Out of Feng Shui
165
A Week in the Life
169
Is This Chapter Tax Deductible?
174
Financially Challenged
180
House for Sale
184
Free Housebreaking WeeWee Pad with Every Purchase
190
Environmentally Challenged
195
These Are the Good Old Days
199
The Cargo Space Shift
203
Copyright

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About the author (2006)

A former New York Post columnist, Susan Konig is a contributor to Catholic Digest and National Review Online. She lives with her family in Croton-on-Hudson, New York.

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