Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape

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Basic Books, Dec 2, 2008 - Social Science - 256 pages
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This groundbreaking look at rape, edited by writer and activist Jaclyn Freidman and Sex Object author Jessica Valenti, dismantles the way we view rape in our culture and replaces it with a genuine understanding and respect for female sexual pleasure.
In the original edition, feminist, political, and activist writers alike presented their ideas for a paradigm shift from the "No Means No" model--and the results were the groundbreaking shift to affirmative consent ("Yes Means Yes," as coined by the book) that we know today.

With a timely new introduction, refreshed cover, and the timeless contributions of authors from Kate Harding to Jill Filipovic, Yes Means Yes brings to the table a dazzling variety of perspectives and experiences focused on the theory that educating all people to value female sexuality and pleasure leads to viewing women differently, and ending rape. Yes Means Yes has radical and far-reaching effects: from teaching men to treat women as collaborators and not conquests, encouraging men and women that women can enjoy sex instead of being shamed for it, and ultimately, that our children can inherit a world where rape is rare and swiftly punished.

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - dreamweaversunited - LibraryThing

It's rare that a feminist book not only confirms what I believe, not only gives me new insight into what I do believe, but gives me entirely new ideas to think about. For me the essay on body ... Read full review

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - shulera1 - LibraryThing

I enjoyed Yes Means Yes! very much, at first, but the longer I read it, the less engaged I became. The book has a great message and the essays are engaging, but they all boil down to roughly the same ... Read full review


Foreword 1
Introduction 5
The Conservative Gender Norms That Perpetuate Rape Culture and How Feminists Can Fight Back 13
2 Toward a Performance Model of Sex 29
Consent as Sexual Process 43
4 A Womans Worth 53
5 How Do You Fuck a Fat Woman? 67
6 Queering Black Female Heterosexuality 77
The Lessons Boys Learn and Dont Learn About Sexuality and Why a SexPositive Rape Prevention Paradigm Can Benefit Everyone Involved 193
17 The NotRape Epidemic 209
18 Shame Is the First Betrayer 221
19 Why Nice Guys Finish Last 227
20 Sex Worth Fighting For 241
A Personal Story of Love Violence and Strategies for Survival 251
22 When Pregnancy Is Outlawed Only Outlaws WillBe Pregnant 265
A Conversation with Three Sex Workers on Sexuality Empowerment and the Industry 273

Surviving Incestin Real Life 93
8 A Love Letter from an AntiRape Activist to Her Feminist SexToy Store 107
Why the Female Sexual Submissive Scares Us and Why She Shouldnt 117
10 Invasion of Space by a Female 127
Sexual Violence Against Immigrant Women in the United States 141
Black Female Lasciviousness and the Question of Consent 151
How Date Rape Became Gray Rape and Why It Matters 163
Rape Culture Explicit Verbal Consent and Body Sovereignty 171
15 An Immodest Proposal 179
24 The ProcessOriented Virgin 287
The Myth of Sexual Purity and How It Reinforces Rape Culture 299
26 Real Sex Education 305
How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Pleasure and How You Can Too 313
notes 321
contents by theme 333
about the contributors 341

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About the author (2008)

Jessica Valenti is the author of multiple books on feminism, politics and culture. She is also the founder of, which Columbia Journalism Review called "head and shoulders above almost any writing on women's issues in mainstream media."

Her writing has appeared in publications like The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Nation, and Ms. magazine. She is currently a columnist at the Guardian US. Jessica lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughter.

Jaclyn Friedman's
work has redefined the concept of "healthy sexuality" and popularized the "yes means yes" standard of sexual consent that is quickly becoming law on many U.S. campuses. She is a popular speaker, opinion writer and author of What You Really Really Want and Unscrewed.

She is also founder and the former Executive Director of Women, Action & the Media, where she led the successful #FBrape campaign to apply Facebook's hate-speech ban to content that promotes gender-based violence. She hosts Unscrewed, a podcast exploring paths to sexual liberation, named a Best Sex Podcast by both Marie Claire and Esquire.

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