You're not what I expected: learning to love the opposite sex

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W. Morrow, May 1, 1993 - Family & Relationships - 416 pages
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What happens when the romance fades? Are lovers inevitably fated to disillusionment? Jungian analyst Polly Young-Eisendrath's You're Not What I Expected suggests a new and hopeful ending to the story about love between the sexes. A licensed psychologist in private practice, Dr. Young-Eisendrath follows four struggling couples through therapy and locates the psychological predicament at the root of failure-bound relationships: Actual lovers either don't correspond to their partners' idealized "dream lovers" or they exhibit traits reminiscent of previous unhappy experiences. Husbands ultimately fail to grow into the model "Hero" or they resemble their wives' "Terrible Fathers". Wives who abandon the role of "Maiden Lover" metamorphose into a twentieth-century witch, the "Terrible Mother". Polly Young-Eisendrath points the way to "mature dependence": an intimacy built on equality. You're Not What I Expected shows couples that dialogue is at the heart of friendship and trust.

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Contents

Introduction
9
Doing Whats Natural
23
Seeing the Stranger in Yourself
66
Copyright

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