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adultery afraid agony anguish asked Rashmi beautiful become beginning birds body Buddha claustrophobia condition consciousness crucifixion culture dangerous death deep deeper Delhi despair dream embrace empty endless eternity exis existence experience eyes face fear feeling forget freedom glance guilt hands happen happiness Haryana heart heat and dust Hindu Hinduism human husband idea images impulses Indian inner insight intense Kathmandu knew leave lethal weapon live loneliness look lost man's marriage mind moments moral morning night Nirvana nothingness obsessions one's oneself pain Palam Airport passion past person possible present psychic Puri Rashmi Kapoor reality Rita sexual Shankar Lal College silence sleeping smile someone soul spirit stars strange struggle suffering super-ego tears tell tence terror things thought Vijay tion tonga trees true truth turned understand Vijay's voice voyeur walked wanted white plague whole wife woman women