The Mother Dance

Front Cover
Harper Collins, Mar 17, 2009 - Psychology - 336 pages
17 Reviews

From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an extraordinary book about mothering and how it transforms us -- and all our relationships -- inside and out. Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them. Here is a gloriously witty and moving book about what it means to dance the mother dance.


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Review: The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

User Review  - Linda - Goodreads

Interesting and thought-provoking insights into all the stages of motherhood. I enjoyed listening to this on tape; it gave me a lot to think about at my stage in life--children leaving the nest, the ... Read full review

Review: The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

User Review  - Nc - Goodreads

I could deeply connect with the book; I'm planning to reread and would love to keep with myself till the last empty nest stage of my life. Read full review


Are You Fit to Be a Mother?
Bringing the Baby Home
Enough Guilt for Now Thank You
Bens Earring and Other Power Struggles
How to Talk to Kids You Cant Talk To
Passing Your
Your Daughter Is Watching You
Raising a Manias Boy? Go for It
The Agony and the Glory
What Stepmothers Are Stepping Into
The Family Dance 211
The Empty NestHurrah?

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Page 20 - They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.
Page 250 - deserved" love easily leaves a bitter feeling that one is not loved for oneself/ that one is loved only because one pleases/ that one is/ in the last analysis/ not loved at all but used.
Page 312 - I also think that kids are the best teachers of life's most profound spiritual lessons: that pain and suffering are as much a part of life as happiness and joy; that change and impermanence are all we can count on for sure; that we don't really run the show; and that if we can't find the maturity to surrender to these difficult truths, we'll always be unhappy that our lives — and our children's — aren't turning out the way we expected or planned. Life doesn't go the way we expect or plan, and...
Page 312 - ... so much whether or not the marriage lasted was us. We were the still-blank slates on which the failures or successes would be recorded, registered. Children: we were the stakes. As a parent, even of a young child, I often feel the tug of that weight, the easy gravity, that comes with the position. My marriage, my death, my failures or successes, my daily kindnesses or meannesses, all mean more, because they will be felt by a person other than myself as central, determining.
Page 1 - Perhaps we share stories in much the same spirit that explorers share maps, hoping to speed each other's journey, but knowing the journey we make will be our own.

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About the author (2009)

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.

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