Among the Humorists and After-dinner Speakers: A New Collection of Humorous Stories and Anecdotes, Volume 1Collier, 1909 - American wit and humor |
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Among The Humorists And After-Dinner Speakers: A New Collection Of Humorous ... William Patten No preview available - 2020 |
Common terms and phrases
afternoon ain't ANDREW CARNEGIE answered asked Aunt baby better bill Bishop called church clergyman clerk CLYDE FITCH cried Deacon Jones dear dinner doctor dollars door drink exclaimed eyes father gave gentleman George give glad hand head hear heard horse hour husband inquired Irishman IRVING BACHELLER J. M. BARRIE John JOHN SHARP WILLIAMS lady late little girl looked ma'am madam mama Mark Twain married Mary Mapes Dodge minister minutes Miss morning mother negro night OLIVER HERFORD once passed play Professor Queen Vic recently remarked replied Richard Mansfield ROBERT COLLYER Senator sermon shook smile Solomon Grundy stopped story Sunday talk teacher tell thank thing to-day told took turned Uncle visitor voice waiter walking WEEDON GROSSMITH Whistler wife Willie woman York young
Popular passages
Page 105 - This little pig went to market. This little pig stayed at home. This little pig had roast beef. This little pig had none. This little pig cried, "Wee, wee!
Page 210 - Franklin then arose, and with his usual dignified simplicity, said, ''George Washington — the Joshua, who commanded the sun and moon to stand still ; and they obeyed him.
Page 100 - and give that man a piece of my mind." "Do so," said Lincoln; "write him now while you have it on your mind. Make it sharp. Cut him all up.
Page 40 - THEY were newly married and on a honeymoon trip. They put up at a skyscraper hotel. The bridegroom felt indisposed, and the bride said she would slip out and do a little shopping. In due time she returned and tripped blithely up to her room, a little awed by the number of doors that looked all alike. But she was sure of her own and tapped gently on the panel. "I'm back, honey; let me in,
Page 173 - You saw, gentlemen of the jury, that I was but a child in her hands. What must my client have been...
Page 145 - And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.
Page 131 - At a wedding feast recently the bridegroom was called upon, as usual, to respond to the given toast, in spite of the fact that he had previously pleaded to be excused. Blushing to the roots of his hair, he rose to his feet. He intended to imply that he was unprepared for speechmaking, but unfortunately placed his hand upon the bride's shoulder and looked down at her as he stammered out his opening (ard concluding) words: ''This — er — thing has been forced upon me.
Page 120 - you mustn't arrest me. I'ma somnambulist." To which the policeman replied: "I don't care what your religion is — yer can't walk the streets in yer nightshirt." The friendship existing between Father Kelly and Rabbi Levi is proof against differences in race and religion. Each distinguished for his learning, his eloquence and his wit: and they delight in chaffing each other. They were seated opposite each...
Page 108 - Accordingly, at the close of the sermon, he arose and announced that "all those who have children whom they wish to have baptized please send their names at once to the clerk.
Page 126 - Stability is taking care of a stable." "A mosquito is the child of black and white parents." "Monastery is the place for monsters." "Tocsin is something to do with getting drunk." "Expostulation is to have the smallpox.