Wedding Etiquette Hell: The Bride's Bible to Avoiding Everlasting Damnation

Front Cover
Macmillan, Jun 1, 2005 - Humor - 240 pages
11 Reviews

Covering such wedding staples as attendants, invitations, registries, showers, the ceremony, the reception, and thank yous, Etiquette guru Jeanne Hamilton will give numerous examples of bad etiquette that should be avoided at all costs, such as:
-No bride owns the calendar. Insisting that everyone within your acquaintance had not dare schedule their wedding anywhere within a six month time period labels you as a classic Bridezilla.
-Sponsored wedding, at which vendors who donate their services are offered the opportunity to put their logos on various wedding related paper products.
-It is never wise to make bridesmaid offers while in the grip of fluttery, just-engaged emotions. You may have to rescind those offers later when you realize you were just a bit too hasty. Once having made the offer, it is extraordinarily ungracious to rescind it, unless you want a seething friend or sister using your engagement photo as a dartboard.
-Enclosing a blank deposit form for a bank account bearing the names of the bride and the groom with the invitation.
And much more! This is a hilarious exploration of how weddings can literally drive people mad.

 

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Review: Wedding Etiquette Hell: The Bride's Bible to Avoiding Everlasting Damnation

User Review  - Cristina - Goodreads

The tl;dr: don't be a tacky, horrible person, and everything should be fine. Worth reading for the sheer audacity, pettiness, and lack of decency described in these letters, though. Just... wow. Read full review

Review: Wedding Etiquette Hell: The Bride's Bible to Avoiding Everlasting Damnation

User Review  - Dezeree - Goodreads

I wouldn't say this is a great etiquette book; however, I'd recommend reading it. I am already worried about planning my wedding, but after I read this, I realized anything I do will be infinitely ... Read full review

Contents

e 2W Js in tne details
7
Its Rude to Make Comparisons
14
Attending to me Attendants
22
The Number of Attendants Is Not Important
28
Do Not Commit Bridesmaidicide if They Hate the Dress
41
Nearer My Heart to Thee Please
54
Accept the Declinations with Grace
69
Dont Spam the Poor People
81
Appropriate Music Please
166
Photography
169
Guests as Waitstaff
171
Transportation
174
Treat the Vendors with Kindness
176
Place Cards Its a Person Not a Place
178
Restrain Thy Greed Please
180
Accidents Will Happen
181

Showel Jruj JHove
87
The Shower Registry Is Not an Ultimatum
93
Just Because It Has a Pulse Doesnt Mean It Has
101
On Ceremony We Stand
110
Ceremony Music Should Be Appropriate
118
Dont Abuse the Musicians
125
Dont Abuse the Church
132
Shame Shame the Sham Wedding
135
When Mistakes Happen We Are Calm Cool and Civil
136
Wedding Deceptions
139
Have the Proper Venue for the Guests
142
Mealtimes Require a Meal
146
Food Glorious Food
148
Its Not a FundRaiser
150
Smashed to Pieces
152
The Waiting Game
154
Cash Bars
157
You Dont Have to Have Alcohol
159
Some Decorum Please
161
To Receive or Not to Receive
164
ank ou Veiy Much
184
At Least Write the Little Buggers
185
Right Now This Very Minute
188
Put Some Effort into It
190
No Bait and Switch
193
Silent Gratitude Isnt Much Use to Anyone
195
Labor Is Not Free
197
Jn the family s Way
200
Honor Where Honor Is Due
201
Evil Etiquette
202
The Grandstanding Mother
203
Dont Make Them Do It
205
The Parents Giveth and the Parents Taketh Away
206
There Is No Pleasing Some People
207
The Invasion of the Etiquette Snatchers
208
When Mom Is an Etiquette Nazi
211
Extending Courtesies to the Extended Family
213
It Could Be Worse A Lot Worse
215
Denouement
219
Copyright

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About the author (2005)

JEANNE HAMILTON is a wedding consultant and the creator of www.EtiquetteHell.com, which has been featured in prominent publications like USA Today, People, and Wall Street Journal. She lives in Oxford, North Carolina.

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