You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning

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Macmillan, Sep 1, 2009 - Humor - 256 pages
4 Reviews

From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as:

• Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate

• How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life

• Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering

• Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that?

• Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time

• Airlines serving up one hot mess

• Action figure Jesus

• Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter

• And much more!

Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.


What people are saying - Write a review

Just Fun!

User Review  - strawwench -

Celia Rivenbark is just flatout fun to read. Her observations of society and characters she runs across in her everyday life is conveyed with so much wit that you cannot help but laugh out loud. Its ... Read full review

Book exactly what wanted for my fav aunt to read!

User Review  - ndsexpot -

Bought this book for one of my favorite aunts who is an avid reader and so many of the stories in the book she could relate too. I know she had many hours of enjoyment reading this book! Naughty me I even sneak read the book before giving it to her! Read full review


Perfect Attendance Nuts Dont Care
2 Poseable Jesus Meets Poser Ken
3 Lets Go See Gobbler Up at the Funeral Home
Dreams 1 Snot 0
5 Miss North Carolina Is Too Nice to Hate
6 My Manservant Can Kick Your Ass
7 Playing the Bingo with ACissy and ABobby
8 Airlines Serving Up One Hot Mess
16 I Want to be a Margo but Im Really a Shanaenae
17 It Is What It ing Is
18 Lessons Taught Here
19 The Wrestler and the Fan
20 No TV? Ill Put My Carbon Footprint Up Your Behind
Shaggin with the Sorta Stars
22 Get Yer Wassail On Its Carolin Time
23 Sex Every Night for a Year? How Do You Wrap That?

9 Gladys Kravitz Wouldve Loved Her Some Facebook
10 Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Improve Your Pathetic Life
11 Jon Kate Plus 8 Better Without the Kids
12 Clay Aiken Aint Marrying Your Glandular Daughter
13 What? Your Preacher Doesnt Stand on a Bucket?
14 Chances of Getting in the Hall of Fame? Very Rare
15 When Celia Met Sally A Convertible Love Story
24 Japanese Moms Meet Most Honorable Uncrustables
25 Strapped for Cash? Try Cat Whisperin
26 Mamas Dont Let Your Sons Grow Up to Be Cheaters
The Future Is Bloody Well DecidedOr Is It?

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About the author (2009)

Celia Rivenbark is the author of the award-winning bestsellers Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank; Bless Your Heart, Tramp; and Belle Weather. We're Just Like You, Only Prettier won a Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance (SIBA) Book Award for nonfiction and was a finalist for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor. Born and raised in Duplin County, North Carolina, Rivenbark grew up in a small house "with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats." She started out writing for her hometown paper. She writes a weekly, nationally syndicated humor column for the Myrtle Beach Sun News. She lives in Wilmington, North Carolina.

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