Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People: The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern

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Greenwood Publishing Group, Jan 1, 2006 - Family & Relationships - 191 pages
2 Reviews

For all of us forced to deal with an infuriating, mean, critical person, seasoned counselor Nina Brown has a word of warning. You must accept that your usual coping strategies are not effective, and will not be effective, with this person, she advises. You cannot expect them to react and behave as adults. So what's a victim to do? Start with the suggestions in this book.

In "Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People," Brown explains why many people, who may not display all of the characteristics necessary for a formal, full-blown narcissist diagnosis, still display what she calls a destructive narcissistic pattern that results in much the same anguish for those with whom the individual interacts. Thankfully, she also provides specific methods that will help victims of this behavior deal with the narcissistic colleague, supervisor or boss, parent, or intimate other.

Only the extremely lucky among us have never faced or felt the effects of narcissistic behaviors and attitudes, displayed by colleagues, bosses, friends, parents, or lovers. These individuals may boast and brag constantly, take credit for other people's work, expect favors but return few or none, never listen (but always know all the answers), be sure of what is right and best regardless of the topic. They devalue others, micromanage, are hypercritical and mistrustful. Other characteristics of this harmful personality include an inflated sense of importance, although achievements are exaggerated and actual outcomes don't support feelings of superiority. They are exploitative, without empathy, and believe they are envied by all. Brown's excellent advice will help you cope.


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Review: Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People: The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern

User Review  - Gary Wright - Goodreads

Brim full of wonderful insightful material, I found the title a little limiting in the sense that it is mainly being presented as coming at Narcissism from one angle. IMHO, the subtitle would probably ... Read full review

Review: Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People: The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern

User Review  - Leah Coffin - Goodreads

Rather than just bandy about fun, catchy phrases for how to deal with the people this book describes, it offers concrete solutions for handling those who, sadly, will most likely never change. Also encourages healthy self-reflection, even if it might be uncomfortable for the reader. Read full review


Chapter 1 Who Are These Infuriating and Difficult People?
Chapter 2 The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern
Extensions of Self and Boundaries Exploitation Lack of Empathy and Envy
Grandiosity The Impoverished Self AttentionSeeking and Admiration Seeking
Emotions Emptiness and Entitlement
Chapter 6 How You Contribute to Your Own Distress
Anger Fear Guilt and Shame
Chapter 8 The DNP in Relationships
Chapter 9 Moderating the Impact of the DNP on You

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About the author (2006)

NINA W. BROWN is a Professor and Eminent Scholar in the Educational Leadership and Counseling Department at Old Dominion University.

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