Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline - Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties - One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships

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Travelers' Tales, 2008 - Humor - 370 pages
20 Reviews
In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt -- or in this case, the dirty water -- on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes readers down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving readers gasping with laughter as they’re assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it’s not "passengers”). And of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange, and seemingly impossible, places. Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential reading for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.
 

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Review: Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties: One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships

User Review  - Natalie Corey - Goodreads

2.5 stars. I started it and finished it, but there were several eye rolls in the process. A lot of the story (and I use "story" literally - a lot of the plot points feel contrived) centers on the ... Read full review

Review: Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties: One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships

User Review  - David - Goodreads

Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties: One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships by Brian David Bruns (Solas House Inc. 2008) (910.45). This is a ... Read full review

Selected pages

Contents

1 Strange Bedfellows
3
2 Global Warning
7
3 Under the Water
14
4 Denizens of Babel
23
5 Nobody Parties Like Sailors
34
6 The Midnight Bahamian Toga Bash
46
7 Ship Life 101
55
8 Creepy Conch Fritters
63
5 The Torture of Funship Freddy
197
6 Hunger Pains
206
7 Viral Infections and You
214
8 Something Sweet at Midnight
226
9 Showdown and Breakdown
233
10 Jamaican Deep Blue
244
The Legend Destruction
255
1 How to Fix an American
257

9 Graduation
70
10 The End of the Beginning
76
Waiter Promotion
81
1 My First and Only Clingy Lingerie Model
83
2 Pancake Darwinism
89
3 The Crew Bar
96
4 My Heart Will Go On
104
5 The Infamous Filipino Elvis Massacre
109
6 Great Whites
115
7 Dining on Ashes
126
8 The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Assumption
137
9 Stripping in the Dining Room
149
Assistant Maitre d Demotion
159
1 Bogo
161
2 Enemy Mine
172
3 The Other Sexy Bitch
183
4 Tattoo Goo
192
2 Legend
269
3 Tongs over Escalators
277
4 Frog and Onion
285
5 Ice Pirates
289
6 The Boatyard
300
7 Lost in Panama
309
8 The Four Temptations of the Apocalypse
322
9 Toast Master General
336
10 The Suicide
344
11 The Miracle
354
Epilogue
363
Appendices
365
Glossary of Ship Language
367
Provisions for a Cruise
369
Stupid Questions
370
About the Author
371
Copyright

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About the author (2008)

Brian David Bruns is a nationally best-selling and internationally award-winning author with books lauded by the Travel Channel, Today Show, and USA Today. He has contributed to The Travel Channel, The Daily Beast, BBC, and CNN. Brian's Cruise Confidential series has twice been featured by ABC 20/20.

Bibliographic information